tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35351464586367447122024-03-13T06:41:04.430-04:00Psalm 113:9 MamaStories of inspiration, hope, and love - written by a foster/adoptive mother to beautiful babies, terrific teenagers and everything in between.
Psalm 113:9 - "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD."
~Belinda HogstromPsalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.comBlogger171125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-88861933420503437042020-05-25T09:46:00.000-04:002020-05-25T09:46:29.694-04:00When Mama Has Cancer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">Less than six weeks after the scans showed no signs of cancer, the monstrous beast returned with a vengeance, raging through my body. It has infiltrated the bones in my leg, has taken over the lymph nodes in my neck, has spread to my stomach, and has extended from the back of my shoulder all the way down my rib cage. The pain is excruciating. Food doesn’t stay down. I now sleep most of the day. From zero to completely invasive in less than 6 weeks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">When I was first diagnoses with stage 4 metastatic cancer a little over one year ago, I knew it was terminal, but I held on to hope that I could fight it. At least for a little while. And because I had no idea how long the journey would take, I haven’t shared too many details with my two youngest children. I didn’t want to scare them. I told them that Mama has cancer, but all that has meant to them up until now is that I went to a lot of doctors’ appointments, that I had lots of medicine, that I took long naps, that many of our friends helped us with meals and babysitting, and that I cried every day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">And to them, cancer meant that in just a few short months, my appearance completely changed. Watching me become bald (due to the chemo), watching me lose so much weight that I look skeletal, and watching me lose the use of my arm and hand and leg (due to nerve damage caused by the tumors) has been especially frightening for them. Every day my heart rips into pieces when I hear them pray,<i> Dear God, please help Mama’s cancer to go away.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">A few days ago, when I found my 11-year old son sobbing, something he never ever does, I held him close and asked him what was wrong. Through his tears, he tried to catch his breath long enough to look at me and say, <i>I just want you to be healthy again! </i>I knew then that it was time to tell them the truth. My hospice team has predicted that I most likely have just a few weeks left, and now my kids need to know that as well. I need to prepare them for what will be happening to me. For what will be happening to them. It was time for them to understand what <i>Mama has cancer</i> really means.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">I said as gently and tenderly as I could, <i>Honey, my cancer isn’t going to go away. I’m not going to be healthy again.</i> I explained that I am going to die. And that means I am going to leave and not be able to come back again. My 5-year old daughter, who had joined our conversation by then, asked if we could maybe FaceTime, and through my own sobbing, I told her <i>I’m so sorry, Sweetheart, but no, we can’t do that. After I leave, you won’t see me again.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">I tried my best to pull myself together long enough to let them know that God loves me, and He promises that if I believe that Jesus died on the cross to forgive my sins, I can go to heaven and live with Him. And heaven is such a really great place to live! There is no cancer there. There is no pain, no medicine, no doctor’s appointments. And there is also no tears. Right now I am so incredibly and deeply sad that I will be leaving my precious children – the older ones as well as the younger ones - that I can hardly bear it! I don’t understand how this is even possible, but when I am in heaven, I will no longer be sad. I won’t need tissues anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">And when I go to heaven, I will get to see Jesus, the One who is my very best friend! The One who has never stopped loving me. The One who has been with me during the darkest of nights and has, despite my doubts and faltering faith, never given up on me. On that day when I go to heaven, He is going to put His hands on my face and touch what I imagine will once again be my long brown hair. He will look into my eyes and say to me, <i>Hello Beautiful!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">I assured my kids, as best as I could, that not only would I be ok, but that they would be ok too. That they have an extraordinary dad, one who loves them so, so much, who will still be here to take good care of them. That they have older siblings, extended relatives, and close family friends who will make sure they have everything they need. They may be sad, but they can know with certainty that they will be safe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">There have been a lot of changes in our home and in our family over the past few years. Foster children have come and gone, older siblings have moved out on their own, and mama has cancer that is quickly causing her to become a very different mama than the one they’ve always known. One who is always in pain, who is frequently sleeping, who can no longer brush hair into a ponytail or pour a glass of apple juice. But through it all, through all the changes they have witnessed and experienced, I want them to know that the one thing that will never ever change is how much I love them. Even when I am gone and they can’t see me anymore, I will never ever stop loving them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">That was a really hard day. A really tough conversation to have with two innocent children who are just trying to understand what is happening to their mom. But I want them to know the truth. I want them to know that it’s ok to talk about these things, to ask questions, to need more explanations, to try and find the words to describe our feelings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">We probably used up an entire box of tissues that day, but even that is a good thing. Emotions aren’t bad, and whatever we are feeling – sad, confused, scared, maybe even angry – its ok to feel those things. No matter what we are feeling, God is right here with us. The same God who is with me now, who is comforting me and loving me through this physical pain and emotional grief, is the very same God who will be with them, who will comfort them and love them through their sadness and their fears in the weeks and months to come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">Since then, in the few days since talking about what it means for mama to have cancer, our family’s prayers have changed. We can continue to pray that God would help my cancer go away, and He could certainly choose to do that. He is, after all, a God of miracles. But if that day comes in the next few weeks when my body can no longer fight, on that day when I go to heaven, I don’t want my kids to be angry at God for not answering their prayers. Instead, I want them to seek God in their grief. To experience His strength and peace and comfort as He carries them through. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">And so, now our family’s prayers are full of gratitude and confidence. Prayers that my children can continue even after I am gone. We thank Him for His love and His goodness towards us. We are so grateful that He is always with us, that He promises to never leave us. We thank Him for giving us courage when we feel afraid, for shining His light into our hearts when we feel sad. Last night, my 5-year old daughter prayed, <i>Dear God, thank you that Jesus died on the cross so that we can go to heaven.</i> Oh, how it thrilled my heart to hear her articulate that! Instead of Mama’s cancer causing her to turn away from God, it is causing her to draw close <i>to</i> God. It is helping her understand the gospel!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">Their mama has cancer, and sometime within the next few weeks, on that day when I go to heaven, their lives will be forever changed. During their season of mourning, during their sadness and confusion and fears, it is my hope and prayer that they experience first-hand these unchanging truths in their hearts and in their lives: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">The forever love of their mama. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">The protective care of their dad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">The collective support of those we call “our people.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">The powerful presence of a good and loving God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">Mama has cancer.</span></i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;"> Three little words that my children should never have to hear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">God is good.</span></i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;"> Three little words that I hope they will remember and believe and declare for the rest of their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Know that the Lord, He is God!<br /> It is He who made us, and we are His;<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> Give thanks to Him; <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">For the Lord is good;<br /> His steadfast love endures forever,<br /> and His faithfulness to all generations.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"> - from Psalm 100<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-1176127167209364872020-04-23T17:33:00.002-04:002020-04-23T19:34:26.912-04:00Your Name<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">To our son, the boy who was born with no name. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">No child deserves to live the first year of life without a name. And yet, that is how your story began. With nothing to identify you. We are not sure why your birth mother did not name you. Perhaps she was trying to distance her heart, not wanting to become too attached to the baby she knew she would not keep. Or maybe she understood what a great honor it is to name a child, and was saving that as a gift for us, the ones who would adopt you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Whatever her reasons, she could not have possibly foreseen that the adoption process would take so long. That for nearly a year, “Baby Boy” was officially recorded on your birth certificate, social security card, and medical insurance card. Every time I took you to the pediatrician, the nurse would open the door to the lobby, look around at the parents and children waiting there, and call out, loud enough for everyone to hear: <i>Baby Boy?</i> Sure, those two little words were benign, seemingly harmless by themselves. But the message they communicated? You do not belong to a family. You are not significant enough to have a name. You are indistinguishable from every other orphaned child in the world. Unnamed. Unwanted. Unimportant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have been further from the truth! When that happened, I wanted to hold you close and protect you from those words and everything they meant. I wanted to announce to everyone in that waiting room that you <i>do</i> have a name. That you are wanted. Chosen. Loved. It’s just that we were waiting for the legal system to catch up to what we already knew with certainty: that you were our son.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The day finally came when your adoption would be finalized. We dressed in our finest clothes, drove downtown to the courthouse, and stood before the judge. Tears streamed down my face as we raised our right hands and solemnly swore that yes, we understood that adoption is a permanent and lifelong commitment, and yes, we vowed to treat you in all respects as our natural born child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">With the bang of the judge’s gavel that day, no longer were you unnamed. Your birth mother had been right: it was a great honor to name you. We chose a first name for you that means <i>God has remembered</i>. Because in our longing to be parents, in our prayers for a child of our own, He remembered us. But even more importantly, we were asking God to remember <i>you</i>. To be with you and guide you as you grew older, to help you become the young man He created you to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And in that moment, you officially became a part of our family, and as such, your birth certificate would forever be changed. Our family name became your family name, a name that we proudly shared with you. A name that you would carry into future generations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">We knew right from the beginning, from your earliest days, that you were “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). We watched in wonder as your curiosity and creativity, as your intellect developed right in front of our eyes. By the age of 2, you knew the difference between a front loader and a bulldozer. By the age of 3, you had memorized the names of dozens of different kinds of dinosaurs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">One day, when you were 4, we were at the local library, browsing through the picture books, when you asked me if you could check out some reader books instead. I tried to explain to you, <i>You are too young for those books, Honey. You can’t read yet</i>. You marched right over to the next section, pulled a book off the shelf, and to my utter astonishment, you started reading it. By yourself! At age 4! I knew then that I was in trouble. It would only be a matter of time before you outsmarted me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">We also noticed almost from the beginning that along with your unusually high intelligence, or maybe because of it, your brain was wired differently. We hated the thought of giving you a label, putting that big personality into a predefined box, a box that would possibly limit your potential. But as you got older, we finally had to admit that we needed help. We needed help understanding the way you think, the reasons behind your strong emotions, suggestions for managing your baffling and sometimes disruptive behaviors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">After hours and hours of questionnaires, assessments, evaluations, testing, and meetings over the course of several months, the report we received was surprisingly long. A thick stack of papers that described, in detail, every aspect of your development, behavior, learning style, attention span, and activity level – and how you compare to other children your age. The report, in essence, assigned you new names. Diagnoses and labels. No longer were you “average.” The labels said you were deficient. Flawed. Broken.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Of course, these new names could never, not for one moment, diminish the love in our hearts for you. But mental illness labels carry a stigma, and these labels did, unfortunately, isolate us from other families, isolate you from other children your age. As you grew into your teen and young adult years, it was heart-breaking for us to watch you become more and more lonely. To know that our curious and creative and smart son who once had such a zest for life, was slowly losing hope. Slowly giving up. And there was not one thing we could do to help you. Could anything possibly be worse?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As it turns out, things could get worse, and in fact, they did. As you searched for meaning and purpose in your life, as your heart longed to be loved and accepted, you took a dark and dangerous path, a path that would lead to unwise choices and self-destruction. Serious mistakes. A path that would ultimately end in a place where men and women are discarded and forgotten. A place where, instead of a name, you were assigned a number. A number that labeled you Unworthy. Loser. Failure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And we were completely devastated. It was our worst nightmare for you, the son we had prayed for and chosen and loved so deeply. For months, we lived in fear for your safety. In uncertainty about your future. In deep grief at the loss of all of our hopes and dreams for the young man you could have become. Those months were brutal, almost unbearable. Countless times I cried out to God, reminding Him of your name. Begging Him to remember you. To be with you and guide you, to help you understand that in that dark and hopeless place, you had not been forgotten.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The day finally came when your fate would be decided. We dressed in our finest clothes, drove downtown to the courthouse, and sat there silently as you stood before the judge. Tears streamed down my face as we listened to the terrible accusations. And with the bang of the judge’s gavel that day, you were named Guilty. Rejected. Outcast. Heavy, shameful names that you would be forced to carry for the rest of your life. Oppressive, crushing names that no one can possibly bear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Your birth mother left you unnamed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">We, your adoptive parents, gave you a name filled with faith and hope and promise. We gave you our family name filled with dreams for the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The psychologists gave you diagnostic names filled with stigma.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The justice system gave you harsh names filled with shame.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But here’s the thing. Here is the truth that will set you free. Free to be who you were created to be. None of those names are names that your Heavenly Father has given you. Even before you were born, when you were still unformed in your birth mother’s womb, He was writing your story in His book. Every chapter, every page. (1)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And if you will allow Him, if you will only believe that His plans for you are good, that the story He is writing for your life has purpose, these are the words He desires to speak over you. The names <i>He</i> longs to give you:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">You shall be called by a new name <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">that the mouth of the Lord will give. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">You shall no more be termed Forsaken, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">but you shall be called My Delight, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">for the Lord delights in you. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And you shall be called Holy, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Redeemed of the Lord; <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">and you shall be called Sought Out,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Not Forsaken. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">(Isaiah 62:2, 4, 12)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Can you see that? These life-giving words? There is no room for guilt, or stigma, or shame. There is no condemnation. (Romans 8:1) Those names that are too heavy, too crushing to bear? You do not need to carry them alone. You are not forsaken!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When you became a part of our family, you were wanted. Chosen. Loved. And we gave you a name that means <i>God has remembered</i>. And He has! He <i>has</i> remembered you! Not once during all these years, despite all the names, during your loneliest and darkest moments, has He forgotten you. You are, and have always been, His beloved child. And just as He has been doing since before you were born He is still faithfully writing your story. Every chapter. Every page. Not only in His book, but on His hands! (2) Do you see how precious you are to Him? What a treasure? (3)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Listen. Even now He is calling you. He invites you to receive a new name, a name that only He can give. My Delight. Holy. Redeemed. Sought Out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All those other names and labels that others have given you? They are just that - man-made names and labels. The One who created you, the One who is writing your story stands ready, even now, to give you a <i>new</i> name.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>And it’s the only name that matters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Son.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i><!--[endif]--><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">I will not forget you.</span></i></span><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> <span class="text">Behold,</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="text">I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. </span></span></i><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Isaiah 49:15-16</span></i><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">But you are God’s chosen treasure</span></i><i><sup data-fn="#fen-TPT-11690a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-TPT-11690a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-variant-caps: normal; text-align: start; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></sup></i><i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">. . . He called you out of darkness to experience his marvelous light, and now he claims you as his very own. 1 Peter 2:9 (The Passion Translation)</span> </i></div>
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</style>Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-25083459395137159012020-03-24T20:59:00.000-04:002020-03-24T21:29:50.784-04:00Good News and Bad News<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SIa6Bje8ZoM/XnqsbbI_JjI/AAAAAAAABVc/_yan9CNEkswLUqssLE1EFqgmeM3gXHZZgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/divine-fem_170715_153432.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1080" height="266" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SIa6Bje8ZoM/XnqsbbI_JjI/AAAAAAAABVc/_yan9CNEkswLUqssLE1EFqgmeM3gXHZZgCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/divine-fem_170715_153432.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Wouldn’t it be great if good news could just be announced all by itself? You know, just a spot of sunshine to brighten your day and lift your spirits, giving you a moment to celebrate without waiting for the inevitable bad news that always seems to tag along not far behind?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">A few weeks ago, I received some good news while sitting in the oncologist’s office. <i>The chemo was very successful. The scans show no sign of cancer. My colleagues and I have never seen anyone with your kind of cancer respond so well!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Oh, how I wish that the doctor could have just given us that good news all by itself. That my husband and I could have taken even a brief moment to celebrate this positive report. Unfortunately, however, the bad news came just a few seconds later, dampening any possibility we might have had to just pause and give thanks for this obvious answer to so many prayers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The chemo was successful . . . but you need to have another round. And this one will be 12 weeks instead of the 8 weeks you just endured. And this time it will be just as harsh, the side effects just as miserable. And this time, you will be facing treatment with your body already weakened, your immune system already depleted. I will be honest, it’s going to be really tough.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The scans show no sign of cancer. My colleagues and I have never seen anyone with your kind of cancer respond so well! . . . But the response is only temporary. You have terminal cancer, and it’s only a matter of time before it comes back. Possibly within a few weeks or maybe, if you’re lucky, in a few months. But it will come back, every bit as aggressive and every bit as painful as before.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The good news is that we did not have to make an immediate decision. But we did leave that appointment that day stunned, both of us silent on the drive home as we processed what we had just heard. It was good news, right? That the chemo worked and the cancer was gone? Shouldn’t we be happy? It’s just that the <i>. . . but</i> that came afterwards was so brutally honest, so hard to hear, that it made the good news almost irrelevant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">What do you do when facing such a significant decision? When your very life – and death – depends on making the right choice? Do you keep fighting, subjecting yourself to awful treatments that leave you sick, frail, bed-ridden, bald, and boney as a skeleton, in hopes that it will lengthen your life for a few more months? Or are you only prolonging the inevitable?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">If you stop fighting, if you decide to stop treatments, is that the same as giving up? Or are you just being honest enough to know when to say that enough is enough?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">After a few sleepless nights and many tear-filled discussions with my husband, I found some peace, as usually happens, in the unchanging Word of God. He promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5) Those two little words <i>without reproach</i> just jumped right off the page and planted themselves in my heart. God is not up in heaven wringing His hands, worrying, <i>I sure hope she makes the right decision.</i> Or thinking, <i>What? That’s what she is going to do? Well, that certainly messes up the plans I had for her life!</i> If I ask Him for wisdom, which I have been begging Him to give me, He promises to give it to me. To give it to me generously! Without reproach! Without being disappointed or surprised or dismayed. I found peace in knowing that whatever decision we make, God’s purposes cannot be thwarted. (Job 42:2). Even before I was born He wrote my days, the story of my life, in His book. (Psalm 139:16) There is such peace in being reminded of that!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And so we decided. No more treatments. No more dreadful chemo. No more days when I can barely make it out of bed. No more crying every single day because I feel just so miserable. Yes, I admit that it will be very difficult for my family to lose me; but as I’ve learned over these past few months, it’s infinitely more difficult for them to watch me suffer. If I’m going to live for a few more weeks or for a few more months, then I’m going to <i>live</i>. I want to give my body and emotions and battered faith a chance to recover. I want to heal. To be fully present with my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">So, coinciding with my personal journey, the bad news is that there is a contagious virus spreading to all parts of the globe, forcing everyone into social distancing. Self-quarantine. Isolation. This means that the meals we had been receiving, the help that people were offering, the care that our friends were providing for my children these past few months have all come to a sudden halt. We are now on our own, making it through each day the best we can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But the good news is that now that I am a few weeks out from my last chemo treatment, I am feeling a little bit healthier and have a bit more stamina with each day that passes. The help that I was so dependent on just a few weeks ago is no longer quite as critical to our family’s survival. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And now that I am a few weeks out from my last chemo treatment, my immune system, which had been completely depleted, is slowly being strengthened, putting me at less and less risk of being infected with this contagious virus. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And the really good news is that if I have to be in quarantine, I get to be in quarantine with my family, the very ones I love the most! The very ones I want to spend as much time with as I possibly can <i>while</i> I can! How providential is that?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">So what’s next? I have been referred to a Palliative Care doctor whose team will support me and my family as we maximize the quality of my life and navigate the end of my life. Of course we need help navigating this. This is a season of unknowns and fears and so much sadness. There are so, so many tears. (Ok, so maybe I need to admit that crying every single day is just going to happen, regardless.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The bad news is that terminal cancer sucks, and we know, the doctor has been very clear, that it’s going to end badly. The good news is that I won’t have to face it alone, but will have a team of physicians, nurses, physical therapists, nutritionists, pharmacists, counselors and administrative staff – all experienced and trained to guide us on this terrifying journey. (There will most likely be a chaplain on this team as well, but I’m going to request that our own small group leader and pastors, the shepherds of our family, suspend social distancing in order to visit us and walk alongside us to the end.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Ever since my initial diagnosis, I had such hopes of <a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2019/12/ending-well.html" style="color: #954f72;">ending wel</a>l. During the past few months of chemo treatments, however, “my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.” (Psalm 73:2). Other cancer patients might be brave, calling themselves warriors or whatever, but that’s not my story. I’m not brave. And I’m not strong at all. Certainly not a warrior. During the worst of it, during the darkest moments of this journey, I honestly didn’t think my faith would survive. I have been so incredibly thankful for those who continued to <a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2020/01/believe-for-me.html" style="color: #954f72;">believe for me</a>, even when I was unable to believe for myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But I am still here today, and today I <i>do</i> believe! I believe that during every single step, every single sleepless night, every single tear-stained day, He has held me fast! (Psalm 139:10) And as I face these next few weeks or, if I’m lucky, these next few months of unknowns and fears and so much sadness, I know with certainty that nothing – not death nor life, nor joy nor sorrow, nor fear nor confidence, nor cancer or pain, nor anything else will be able to separate me from the love of God. (Romans 8)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Even in the darkest moments of this journey, God’s love for me and for my family has never, not once, wavered. And it never will. And <i>that</i>, in spite of everything else, regardless of the prognosis, no matter what happens, is good news indeed!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-39256834668629604762020-03-05T20:30:00.000-05:002020-03-06T09:05:55.549-05:00Losing Her Mother<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">We are enjoying ourselves, my young daughter and me, soaking in the sunshine, breathing in the fresh air, and savoring this rare opportunity for just the two of us to be together. I turn my back for just a second to grab something just out of reach, and when I turn around again, she is not there. I turn every way, thinking surely she is just a few steps away, but I do not see her anywhere. I start calling her name, not caring if other people are staring, and try not to panic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">After a few unsuccessful moments of being unable to find her, I locate a security guard to help me. I describe her as best as I can: 4-years old, long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, pink sparkly dress (did it have a unicorn or a rainbow on it? I suddenly can’t remember!), flip-flops on her little feet. He goes one way, speaking into his walkie-talkie with his colleagues, and I go the other way, calling her name, more loudly now, looking frantically in every space, around every corner, under every surface.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Ten fear-filled minutes later, I finally spot her, huddled into a heap, sobbing into her arms, crying <i>Mommy! I want my Mommy!</i> over and over again. This young child has just endured, for ten fear-filled minutes, her worst nightmare: losing her mother. I run to her and scoop her into my arms, where she continues weeping into my shoulder, her tears staining my shirt. It takes a long time to console her, to assure her, <i>Mommy’s here now. I love you so much! You are safe!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The moment I first met her, four years ago, I said almost the exact same words to her. When our foster agency called, asking if we could care for an infant, a baby girl whose health challenges made other foster families say no, I was thrilled, so excited to say yes! I walked into the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) at the hospital, walked straight to her bassinet, peaked in at the gorgeous child bundled up inside, and fell instantly in love!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">While the hospital staff and social workers were gathering documents, signing discharge paperwork, and completing custody orders, I sat in a nearby rocking chair and held in my arms this baby girl who would soon be going home with me. I looked around at this tiny room where she had spent the first month of her life, and noticed signs that her mother had been here. Evidence left by the one who had come before me. A half-eaten candy bar. An almost-empty bottle of soda. A <i>People</i> magazine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Did she leave suddenly? Was she escorted out? When did she know that she would be leaving, not taking her daughter with her? I later saw online that she had signed up on a baby registry, requesting, among other things, a leopard-print blanket and a black leather diaper bag, small clues to her personality and tastes. At one point, then, she had obviously had hopes and dreams for her baby. She had been making plans. Now she was gone, just a few small items carelessly left behind, the only sign that she had once been here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I suddenly felt deep sadness, not only for the mother whose choices and circumstances had led to this, but for this innocent child lying in my arms.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">She had only been alive on this earth for one month, and already she had lost her mother.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I pulled her tiny face into the soft part of my neck, and whispered into her ear,</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><i style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14pt;">I am your Mommy now. I love you so much! You are safe!</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For two tenuous years, my family and I loved on this child. Despite the uncertainty of her future, never sure what the courts would decide, I faced each day with such gratitude, so thankful for the great privilege of being her mother. For the great joy of watching her grow and thrive and learn and develop and blossom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Finally, the glorious day arrived when she was adopted into our family! The day the courts decreed that I could be her mother, not just temporarily, but forever! Never would we be separated. Never again would she have to experience the loss of a mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Here’s the thing, though. Sometimes forever turns out to not <i>really</i> mean forever. Sometimes forever ends way too soon. Just two years after my beloved little girl became a part of our “forever” family, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. A rare, incurable, aggressive form of cancer that has turned my body into a battlefield. Although I am doing absolutely everything I can to conquer the enemy inside me, absolutely everything I can do to live, there are no guarantees. I face each day, not knowing how much longer I will be able to fight. With the very real possibility that my precious daughter, still innocent, will once again be losing her mother. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And I can hardly bear the sadness of it! If she is huddled into a heap, sobbing into her arms, crying <i>Mommy! I want my Mommy!</i> over and over again after ten fear-filled minutes without me, how will she ever endure being without me at all? It will be her worst nightmare!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Attachment theory research suggests that children dealing with grief from losing a parent are vulnerable to long-term emotional problems such as struggling with depression, dealing with anxiety, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">being </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">withdrawn, showing problems in school. (1) The fact that my sweet girl may be at risk of facing long-term emotional problems - that I myself may have caused! - is a suffocating thought. Unbearable! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Just last week she decided that she was ready to ride her bike by herself. No training wheels, no practice, and no help from me. She strapped her helmet under her neck, settled onto the seat, placed her feet on the pedals, gave herself a little push, and there she went down the driveway, her back straight and confident, her eyes filled with pride at her unexpected success. So brave. So fearless. So self-assured. I stood there clapping and cheering her on, thankful that I was present and feeling well enough at that moment to witness her accomplishment!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">She has, by necessity, become very independent during these past few months. Getting herself ready for bed, folding her own laundry, packing her lunch for preschool all by herself. And now, watching her coast down the driveway on her bike, I cannot help but wonder in what other ways – both noticeable and subtle – my illness has forever changed her. And should she face the unspeakable grief of losing me, will her back still be straight and confident? Will she still be brave, fearless and self-assured?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Here’s the thing, though. The thing I need to remember when my fears for her future threaten to overwhelm me, sucking the breath right out of my lungs. When our beloved little girl became a part of our forever “family,” she became a part of a much larger family. A family with older sisters, cousins, aunts, and grandmothers. She became part of an even larger family, a community of mommy’s friends, church mothers, teachers, and neighbors. A sisterhood of strong women who can show her what it means to be a strong woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Even if my fighting isn't enough, even if I don't make it through this battle, she will be surrounded by other women who can love her as she processes her grief. Women who can encourage her to keep her back straight and confident. Who can be present at those moments, witnessing her accomplishments, clapping and cheering her on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And hopefully, most importantly, if the unthinkable happens and she loses her mother, if she comes face to face with her worst nightmare, these women in her life, these sisters and cousins and aunts and grandmothers and friends, will point her to Jesus, the One who longs for her to be a part of His “forever family” in the truest sense of the word. The One who promises to never leave her or forsake her. (2) The One who assures her that He will carry her (3) and will rescue her (4) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Hopefully this “forever family,” this sisterhood of strong women will point her to Jesus, the only One who can pull her close and whisper into her ear, <i>I am here. I love you so much! You are safe!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/media-spotlight/201802/when-child-loses-parent" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;">www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/media-spotlight/201802/when-child-loses-parent</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“Even to your old age I am He, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.” – Isaiah 46:4<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-431636251582128072020-02-26T21:30:00.002-05:002020-02-27T07:52:06.201-05:00Supporting Our Rock<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I call him our Rock, because every day he carries our family. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Each one of us depends on him and his solid, unwavering strength. But a Rock can only stay strong for so long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">After my last <a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2020/02/our-rock.html" style="color: #954f72;">blog post</a>, describing how even the strongest Rock can become weary, we were overwhelmed by an outpouring of love! Many of our friends are asking, <i>What can we do?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">It’s not an easy question to answer, because in general, men are hesitant to ask for help. Even Moses, a Rock for an entire nation, needed someone to help him recognize, <i>You cannot do this by yourself!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">We see the story in Exodus 18. It took Moses from morning until evening to carry out his many responsibilities. When his father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said to Moses, <i>What are you doing? Why are you doing all this alone? This is not good! You are wearing yourself out! This is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. Look for able men, men who fear God, men who are trustworthy, and let them help you. They will bear the burden with you, and you will be able to endure.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">In the same way, the Rock in our family has been wearing himself out, supporting me while I battle cancer, taking on many of my responsibilities at home, caring for our children, all while holding down a full-time job. The words that Moses needed to hear are the same words my husband needs to hear today: <i>What are you doing? Why are you doing all this alone? This is not good! You are wearing yourself out! This is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. Look for able men, men who fear God, men who are trustworthy, and let them help you. They will bear the burden with you, and you will be able to endure.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">So, who are these able men, men who fear God, men who are trustworthy? And how can they help? Here are just a few ideas, although the possibilities are endless!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Be flexible. Thank you for understanding when he needs to work from home, or when he can’t work at all that day because he is with me at my oncologist’s appointments or chemotherapy treatments. Thank you for being flexible when he reschedules the same meeting three times! We never quite know what each day is going to hold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Lighten the load. He could use “able men, men who are trustworthy” to come alongside him at work. If possible, offer to co-lead one of his projects. Offer to meet with a client – locally or on the other side of the world. If you are going to be attending the same meeting, offer to prepare the presentation so that he doesn’t have to. Whatever you can do to lighten his load.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Invite him to lunch – away from the office. Or better yet, if the weather is nice, invite him to take a walk around the campus. Chances are, this will be the only time he breathes in fresh air today!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Be sure to ask. Not just, <i>How is your wife doing? </i> but <i>How are you doing?</i> He just may take the opportunity to tell you honestly how very hard this is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">MEN AT CHURCH<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Invite him to a men’s event. Is there a men’s breakfast or Bible Study or another men’s event coming up? We haven’t been to church in months, and we have no idea what opportunities are available. He would most likely be encouraged, his spirit buoyed and strengthened, by having fellowship with “men who fear God.” <i>(see note below)</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Pray with him or with us together. Several times people from our church – both men and women - have come to our home to pray with us, lifting us and our family before our good and loving Father. They have sung with us, worshipped with us, spoken God’s promises over us. Because we have not been able to attend a regular church service in several months, these times have been especially sweet. The Body of Christ is such a beautiful thing, and these times together encourage us to press on. These moments remind us that we have not been forgotten!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Coordinate a service day for the yard. With spring right around the corner, the weeds are likely to take over, bushes will need trimming, the garden is waiting to be planted, and sticks and branches and trees from the last storm need to be cleared. Many hands make light work, and with others to help, these tasks won’t seem quite so overwhelming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">FRIENDS<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Invite him to lunch during the week or for a cup of coffee on a Saturday morning. His world has become small, going to work and then coming back home again. A change of scenery, a kind and compassionate friend, a listening ear . . . these would be such a breath of fresh air for him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Ask if he would like to do something fun. Something non-work, non-family, non-cancer related. Every person is different, of course, but my husband particularly enjoys activities like hunting, fishing, going to the shooting range, riding his bike on one of the nearby greenway trails, taking the dog for a hike in the woods. Not only is fresh air and sunshine therapeutic, there is nothing that says “male bonding” like the great outdoors! <i>(see note below)</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Go with him to the gym or go for a run in the neighborhood. Because he has so many responsibilities on his shoulders, exercising has, unfortunately, become low on his list of priorities. Not only does he want to stay healthy, our family <i>needs</i> him to stay healthy! He is much more likely to exercise if there is someone to go with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Invite him to an event in the community. Is there a short-wave radio expo or wood-working demo coming up? Isn’t the Dixie Deer Classic happening in the spring? What about a sporting event? Our world has become very small, and we don’t know what events are happening in the community. The break from his responsibilities would be so refreshing for him! <i>(see note below)<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Help with household repairs. Life doesn’t stop with the cancer diagnosis. Cars still need oil changes, appliances still break, light bulbs still burn out, doorknobs still become loose, hinges still squeak, broken screens still need to be replaced. Believe me, even while sick in bed and fighting for her health, a wife still has a Honey-Do list.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Bring dinner . . . and plan to join us for dinner! We need fellowship. Even during this dark and uncertain season, even when I’m not feeling well, we need our friends! Since “male bonding” doesn’t always come naturally, it might be less awkward for a couple to visit together. (But please no kids. I’m weak and my immune system is weak. As much as we love children, adding noise, germs, clutter, and chaos would not be helpful during this season.) Last week some friends of ours came together to visit us. While my friend was helping our young daughter get ready for bed, her husband and my husband were clearing up the table and loading the dishwasher. Somehow the conversation turned to swapping stories about speeding tickets, which caused the two men to start cracking up! Hearing my husband’s laughter, his genuine joy for the first time in weeks – possibly months – was such a priceless sound! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">He is the Rock in our family. But he is doing too much, and he has been doing much of it alone. He is wearing himself out, carrying burdens that are too heavy for him. He needs able men, men who fear God, men who are trustworthy to come alongside him and help him. To bear the burden with him. To help him endure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">To his co-workers, to the men at church, to his friends . . . thank you to the many people who are supporting our Rock!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">NOTE</span></i></b><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">:. Ever since my cancer diagnosis, our Rock has been so supportive of me, loving me and caring for me in so many ways. A few nights ago, a friend offered to stay with me so that he could attend our Small Group. To my surprise, he immediately said yes! I realized that perhaps he has not been going out, not participating in his hobbies, not getting together with friends for coffee, because he doesn’t want to leave me home alone. On the days when the chemo symptoms are particularly harsh, I can barely make it out of bed, much less care for the kids! So please, extend the invitations to him, recognizing that he may be more likely to say yes if there is someone (a spouse, maybe?) who could stay with me and the kids while he goes out.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-56504627959578179832020-02-22T19:48:00.000-05:002020-02-26T21:32:51.375-05:00Our Rock<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I call him the Rock in our family. Through the many tumultuous years of foster parenting, through the endless challenges of raising children with complicated needs, through deep heartache and pain and loss, and most recently through my vicious battle with Stage 4 cancer . . . through it all he is the one who has remained strong and courageous. Resolute and steadfast. Endlessly optimistic and confident. The one who has never stopped believing in the goodness of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I call him our Rock, because every day he carries our family. He works diligently at his job so that we can have an income, and so that we are provided with much-needed medical insurance. Every day he faces a stressful job where many people depend on him for direction and decisions. Decisions worth billions of dollars for his organization. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">After a long and stress-filled day, he comes home to a wife who may or may not be feeling well, who may or may not be crying, who may or may not have enough faith to make it through one more day. After helping the kids through dinner and their bedtime routine, washing all the dishes, folding the pile of laundry left on the couch, and opening the mail (tasks I struggle to do because of painful and debilitating nerve damage that the cancer has caused in my arm and hand), he then has video-conference meetings with his colleagues who work in different time zones on the other side of the world. He is the last one to go to bed at night, long after everyone else is asleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I call him our Rock because each one of us depends on him and his solid, unwavering strength. There is our adult son who struggles in so many ways, still living at home, facing the consequences of poor choices, fighting mental illness, who may never be able to live on his own. There are our adult daughters who, in their quest for independence, have distanced themselves from us, which is especially heart-breaking during this season when their love and support would have been such an encouragement to me as I fight for my health. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There is our young son with complex medical needs and serious cognitive delays, the one who requires specialty medications that need to be refilled and dispensed on time, medical specialists who don’t always agree on best treatment options, and tutors and IEP’s and school meetings and mountains of documentation to keep track of. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And there is our youngest daughter, the one with self-regulation and sensory issues. The one who, because mommy doesn’t feel well enough to engage and train and redirect and nurture properly, is becoming wilder by the day. Child-rearing used to be a significant part of my role in the family, but now, at least during my season of extreme weakness, our Rock has taken over the majority of those responsibilities, tasks, and burdens. He is carrying the weight of our family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And our Rock is carrying the weight of our family almost entirely alone. While I have been inundated with help and support, friends bringing us meals, cleaning our house, driving me to my appointments, watching our kids, coming to visit and talk and pray with me . . . he is, for the most part, alone. Who else can take over his responsibilities at work? Who else can pay our bills or repair the car or take our son to his numerous medical appointments or tend to the yard that is becoming overgrown with weeds? Who else can comfort our little girl at 2:00 in the morning when she is crying and can’t sleep because her whole world has been shaken, or pray with me every morning, having sufficient faith for both of us when I doubt that I have enough physical or emotional strength to face another day? Everyone he knows is asking him, <i>How is your wife doing?</i> But who does he know who is asking him, <i>Hey, Buddy,</i> <i>how are you doing?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">A Rock can only stay strong for so long. Relentless storms eventually cause cracks. Steady winds and crashing waves eventually cause erosion. Torrential rains, the downpours, the kind that cause fierce, rushing floods, eventually cause the strongest rock, the most unmovable rock, to move. To slip. To shift from its foundation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Being a Rock is nothing new, of course. I think of Moses, a great man of faith, who was a Rock, not just for a family, but for an entire nation. All of Israel depended on him to remain strong and courageous. Resolute and steadfast. Endlessly optimistic and confident. To be the one who never stopped believing in the goodness of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When Israel went into battle against their enemy Amalek, an enemy that was way too powerful for Israel to defeat, they depended on Moses, their Rock, and his solid, unwavering strength. He went to the top of the hill with the staff of God in his hands, and whenever he held up his hands, Israel prevailed! Miraculously, his courage and faith helped them to overcome impossible circumstances. But as the battle raged on, Moses’ hands understandably grew weary. A Rock can only stay strong for so long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Fortunately, however, Moses did not have to carry the weight of his nation’s victory alone. There were Aaron and Hur, co-laborers in the battle, right there beside him to reinforce him. To bolster his strength. When Moses’ hands grew weary, when it all became too much for him to bear, they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. With their encouragement and support, Moses’ hands were steady. With their presence and demonstration of solidarity, He was able to persevere, to press on. Eventually the long battle ended, and Israel, against impossible odds, defeated that powerful enemy! (Exodus 17)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Likewise, the Rock in our family is a great man of faith. But as the battle rages on – the battle for our children’s hearts, my battle with the powerful enemy of cancer - his proverbial hands are understandably growing weary. He simply cannot carry the weight of our family’s victory alone. He needs co-laborers in the battle, men who are willing to stand beside him, to reinforce him, to bolster his strength. Men whose encouragement and support, whose presence and demonstration of solidarity can enable him to persevere. To press on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Eventually this long battle will end, and we will, against impossible odds, defeat these powerful enemies. Some day we will stand on the other side, victorious!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Meanwhile, as the battle rages on, long and fierce and relentless, we need our Rock. I call him the Rock because every day he carries our family. Because each one of us depends on him and his solid, unwavering strength. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But our Rock simply cannot carry the weight alone. He needs the support of his co-laborers so that he can remain strong and courageous. He needs encouragement if he hopes to stay resolute and steadfast, optimistic and confident. He needs men who will stand beside him, reminding him of the goodness of God. Men who will hold up his hands, one on each side, and enable him to continue, for one more day, to be our Rock.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><i>Note: Here are some ideas for <a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2020/02/supporting-our-rock.html">Supporting our Rock</a>.</i></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-15127784330009042012020-01-24T21:34:00.001-05:002020-01-24T23:08:55.592-05:00Believe For Me<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The oncologist has said from the beginning, a year ago now, that because the type of cancer I have is so aggressive and so “angry,” that chemotherapy may not work. And that because the chemotherapy would be so brutal, so powerful and so toxic, that I may not survive it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">So when I find myself sending urgent messages to her in the middle of the night, practically begging her to please start chemo as soon as possible, it’s because I have become completely desperate. As the cancer spreads like a raging wildfire throughout my body, the searing pain has become so excruciating, so totally consuming, that I cannot bear it for one more second. For several weeks I think, <i>surely this the last day</i>. And I cry out to God, begging Him, <i>please let this be the last day!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Thankfully, the oncologist prescribes pain meds, and when I send her a message again in the middle of the night, begging for something stronger, she responds without delay. For the past year, she has been my enemy, the voice of doom and gloom and no good options, but suddenly, with one quick stroke of her pen, I love her! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The next few days after my urgent message to the oncologist, there is a flurry of activity: bloodwork and scans, getting a port surgically implanted (because the chemo drugs are too toxic to go into my veins), checking my heart to see if it is strong enough to withstand the powerful chemo drugs, verifying insurance information and signing consent forms. The days are a blur of pain, mental fog and drowsiness from the narcotics, and sleep-deprivation. I barely remember any of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The first chemo infusion is on a Friday, and by Sunday, the terrible side effects I had been warned about kick in fill-force. Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, mouth sores, difficulty breathing, insomnia, and long strands of hair falling out every time I brush my hair. And still, I am begging God, <i>please let this be the last day!</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I had wanted so badly to face this with courage. I had hoped that my faith would be so strong, so unwavering, that nothing, not even this, could weaken it. That my hope and my joy would withstand these terrible, awful circumstances, and that everyone who sees me would be amazed and inspired to put <i>their</i> hope in God too. That somehow, God would be glorified in this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But it’s not like that. Not at all! With each new day of increasing and unrelenting pain, I am frustrated and angry that God is ignoring my prayers. In the middle of the night when even a few minutes of sleep is totally elusive, I just sit in the chair that I have barely moved from for weeks, sobbing and moaning, crying out into the darkness, <i>God where are you? If you are good, why are allowing this to happen to me? This just feels cruel. Why aren’t you doing anything? Hello? God? Are you even listening at all?</i> The faith that I had hoped would get me through this is completely gone. Empty. Not one drop left.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There is a story in Luke 5 of a man just like me. He was just lying there on his stretcher, unable to help himself, unable to get to Jesus. His situation was impossible. He was without hope, most likely wondering why a good God would allow this to happen to him. Thankfully, though, he was not alone. His friends were right there with him, carrying his stretcher, seeking creative ways to bring him in and lay him before Jesus. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And when Jesus saw their faith . . . he said to the man who was paralyzed, “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And immediately he rose up before them and picked up what he had been lying on and went home, glorifying God. And amazement seized them all, and they glorified God and were filled with awe, saying, “We have seen extraordinary things today!”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The amazing thing about this story, is that it has nothing to do with this man’s faith. He didn’t necessarily believe that Jesus would heal him. He wasn’t particularly strong or brave or full of unwavering hope. Any faith that he had at the beginning was most likely completely gone. Empty. Not one drop left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But did you notice? Jesus saw, not <i>his</i> faith, but he saw <i>their</i> faith, the faith of his friends. The ones who were bearing his stretcher, the ones who were carrying him. And when Jesus saw <i>their</i> faith, He chose to act. He chose to speak. He chose to heal. It was because of <i>their</i> faith that everyone who saw was amazed and glorified God and was filled with awe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And it’s the same with me. During the past few weeks, it is my friends and my family and my neighbors and my church family who are bearing my stretcher, carrying me to Jesus when I am incapable of getting there myself. Every time someone prepares a meal for my family or drives me to an appointment or takes care of my children, that person has become my stretcher bearer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When my long-time friend of more than 20 years spends the night on my couch, knowing full well that she will be woken dozens of times to help me find some momentary comfort. When my sisters travel all the way across the country to love and support and encourage me. When my close friend from my Small Group stops by to check on me nearly every day, helping brush my daughter’s hair or fold a load of laundry or peel oranges – things I can no longer do by myself. When people from near and from the other side of the world donate funds to pay for someone to clean my house. When a friend who is drowning in her own deep grief stops by to see me after she gets off of work, bringing me fizzy drinks or making me smoothies. With every act of kindness, with every volunteer sign-up, with every personal sacrifice, these are the ones who are bearing my stretcher.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And during the past few weeks, it is my friends and my family and my neighbors and my church family who are believing for me, Believing when I am unable to believe for myself. Every time someone prays for me and my family, texts me a promise from God’s Word, sends me an encouraging sermon or podcast to listen to (since I can no longer attend worship services at church), or shares a song that reminds me to press on, he or she is believing for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When the pastors and the elders at my church lay hands on me with oil. When church friends gather outside my house on a Sunday afternoon to pray that I would find healing. When I receive an email from a friend, saying, </span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I have prayed for your [prodigal] son many times over the years. And I want you to know that I will continue to do so in your absence from this life</span>.</i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> With every heart-felt prayer, with every word of Truth spoken over my life, with every expression of faith in the goodness and power of God to act, these are the ones who are carrying me to Jesus. The ones who are believing on my behalf.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Just like the story of the man in the Bible, the amazing thing about my story is that it has nothing to do with my faith. I don’t necessarily believe that Jesus will heal me. I am most certainly not strong or brave or full of unwavering hope. In fact, my faith is mostly depleted. I have nothing left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Thankfully, though, God sees, not <i>my </i>faith, but He sees <i>your </i> faith, the faith of my friends. The ones who are bearing my stretcher, the ones who are carrying me. And when God sees<i>your </i> faith, He may choose to act. He may choose to speak. He may choose to heal. It will be because of <i>your </i> faith that everyone who sees will be amazed and will glorify God and will be filled with awe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">To my friends and my family and my neighbors and my church family… please do not give up on me! Although the worst of the pain began to subside a few days after chemo started, the side effects of the chemo are every bit as “brutal” as the oncologist said they would be. (She is my enemy once again.) The chemo will continue, not for weeks, but for months! And even if the cancer goes away, it has been so invasive that it may have caused some long-term or permanent nerve damage. This journey towards healing will most certainly be a very long and slow one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And there is absolutely no way I will be able to endure it alone. I am pleading with you: please keep loving and supporting and serving our family. Please keep being right here with me, carrying my stretcher, seeking creative ways to bring me in and lay me before Jesus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And most importantly, please have faith for me. Pray for me when I cannot pray for myself. When I am unable to believe, I need you to believe for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-5633915378803826322019-12-31T18:15:00.001-05:002020-01-01T09:57:25.864-05:00Ending Well<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was one year ago, on Christmas Day, when I first felt this weird tingling sensation in my neck, which quickly turned into a lump, and then several lumps, which tests and scans and biopsies subsequently confirmed as being Stage 4 metastatic cancer. It has been a year of fighting hard for my health. Fighting hard for my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The thing about cancer is that it is a vicious, aggressive, ruthless enemy. But unlike other enemies, when you are fighting cancer, you can never, ever, not for one second, retreat. There is no withdrawing from the battle, no R&R weekends where you can just be a normal person for a few days before putting your armor back on to fight another day. No, cancer is <i>in</i> you, and if you have any hope of winning the battle, you can never stop fighting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But I have discovered, surprisingly, that there is an even bigger enemy inside me, one that is even more brutal and unrelenting: the enemy of fear. Not just fear of dying or fear of the unknown future, which is huge, but fear in every decision that I make. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I have time in the afternoon, should I fight my fatigue by taking a nap? After all, sleep is restorative, the only time when cells regenerate. Or should I use that time to go outside? I mean, I need that oxygen-rich air and vitamin D from the sun to help fight this cancer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Should I press fresh organic fruits and vegetables through a juicer for those essential nutrients that my body needs, or should I stay away from fruit altogether, since cancer cells thrive on glucose? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">When the pain becomes unbearable, should I apply a heat pack, since cancer cells cannot survive heat, or should I go for the cold pack, which may reduce some of the inflammation? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every day, with every decision, I fight the enemy of fear, knowing that my very life depends on choosing wisely. Always aware of the lethal consequences I will face if I don’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And then, of course, are the consuming fears for the future. How will the loss of their mother affect my children? Especially my sweet daughter who is only 4 years old. Will she even remember me?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">How will my husband work and provide for our family, while simultaneously take care of our children, manage the finances, oversee the medical and educational needs of our son with special needs, and maintain our home? How will he be able to take on these huge responsibilities by himself? How will he help our children grieve the loss of their mother, while he himself is grieving the loss of his wife?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think of the broken relationships in my family, the hurt and the distance that has not yet been resolved. What if those wounds are never healed? What if those bonds are never mended?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if my son, so dear to my heart, is never rescued from the chains that bind him? What if he never understands how much God loves him? What if he never glimpses the good plans that God has for his life? The greatest desire of my heart is to see him rescued from the darkness, and to know that one day, many years from now, he and I will both be in heaven praising Jesus together!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if my heart-felt, tear-stained prayers are never answered?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Last week, while sitting in the oncologist’s office, looking at images of my most recent scans – the scans that show the cancer activity “on fire” throughout a large part of my body - I heard her say words that would make even the most courageous warrior shake in her boots: The cancer is now in advanced stages. There is nothing more she can do. It’s only a matter of time. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And realistically, I didn’t really need those tests and scans. They only confirmed what I already know. For the past few weeks I have been fighting excruciating, debilitating pain. All day I’m watching the clock to see if it is time to take my next dose of pain meds. In the middle of the night, when I just can’t stand it one more second, I’m crying out into the darkness, <i>God, please relieve this pain! Please help me! </i> Realistically, I know that if I am going to find healing, I will need a miracle. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And in those darkest, pain-filled moments, I resolve: I may indeed be losing the battle for my health, but I refuse to lose the battle for my faith. If I have any hope of winning this battle, I can never stop fighting. I can never ever, not for one second, stop fighting to believe. Even in my tears, I choose to believe in the goodness of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Hebrews 11, the chapter is filled with the names of people who lived by faith. People who trusted God in spite of impossible odds. There are two little phrases in there, that at first glance, don’t look particularly encouraging. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">“<span style="background-color: white;">These [people] all died in faith, not having received the things promised.” (v. 13)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">“And all these [people], though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised</span>.” (v. 39)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">These men and women, these people that God chose to do remarkable things, to be a part of the story that He is writing, went all the way to the end of their lives, still believing. They still believed, even though the promises of God had not yet been fulfilled. These verses are encouraging, because they show that even when you don’t see the miracle during your lifetime, you can still believe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I want to be like that. I want to end well. I want to go all the way to the end of my life, still believing. Even if my prayers are not yet answered in the way I had desperately hoped they would be. Even if my health is not restored. Even if those broken relationships are not mended. Even if my son is not rescued. Even if my precious little girl doesn’t remember me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even if I never see the miracle happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even then, I want to be commended for my faith. I want to “die in faith.” I want end, still believing. Believing that He sees me and He sees my family. Believing that He is still writing a story that isn’t finished yet. Believing that He is still working out His perfect plan in His perfect time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I want to end well, still believing in the goodness of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">All my life You have been faithful.<br />And all my life You have been so, so good.<br />With every breath that I am able<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I will sing of the goodness of God.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Lyrics to “Goodness of God”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0FBb6hnwTo" style="color: #954f72;">www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0FBb6hnwTo</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-6668532848330308332019-12-04T11:27:00.000-05:002019-12-04T13:54:59.761-05:00Where are All the Stockings?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The day after Thanksgiving, I’m pulling out the boxes of Christmas decorations, my young children, husband and I having braved the crowds at the corner lot to buy a Christmas tree. I string lights on the tree and hang a wreath on my front door, but even though there is festive music playing in the background, my mood is not festive. I am sort of going through the motions, my heart not really in the Christmas spirit. I am mentally counting down the days until December 25, wondering how I will make it through until then. Wondering how I can possibly make this season into a happy, magical one for my kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">My far away thoughts are brought to a screeching halt as my attention is drawn to the mantle of our fireplace. Or more specifically, to the conspicuous absence of stockings hung on the mantle of our fireplace. Not too long ago, our mantle was crammed full of stockings – for our young adult children, for the significant people in their lives, for the foster children who were living with us, for the youngest members of our family. There were so many stockings, they almost didn’t fit! I remember staring at all those stocking one evening, when the house was quiet and filled with the smell of fresh pine, and thinking to myself, <i>my heart is full!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">That isn’t my story this season. This time, my heart doesn’t feel full at all. I am asking myself this year, <i>Where are all the stockings?</i> The nearly empty mantle is taunting me, representing loneliness and great loss, the changes that can happen in a person’s life when he or she least expects it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I am not alone in feeling this way. Some of my dearest friends and I have had, quite frankly, a year that has been full of heartache and pain. Struggles that we never thought would happen to nice people like us. Altogether we have been irreparably impacted by overwhelming circumstances, like a gigantic tidal wave of grief and sorrow. We have faced debilitating mental illness that keeps our families in a perpetual state of high alert; powerful addictions that seem impossible to break; the long hard road of unemployment, wondering how to provide for our families; the sudden, unexplainable loss of a beloved child; the shame and dark despair of incarceration; shocking suicide attempts; a failed business venture; the abandonment of a spouse who had once vowed to be faithful; domestic violence so dangerous, so out of control that we had no choice but to call the police; a prodigal child who may or may not ever come home; a precious grandchild who, due to broken family relationships, we may never know; the terrifying diagnosis of a terminal illness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As we face such tragic and devastating circumstances, how can we enter this season with joy? In the midst of all of that grief and suffering, how can we be thankful? When our hearts are so heavy that, in spite of our brave faces, the tears keep overflowing long into the night, is it even possible to find peace, that elusive peace that the birth of Jesus promised to bring? When I stand in front of the fireplace and ask myself, <i>Where are all the stockings?</i>, how can this still be a happy, magical season?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Presence<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For those of us who are broken hearted, there is good news. An encouraging, life-giving truth that God is near to us in our grief. (Psalm 34:18) Perhaps He is even nearer to us during this season of pain than during any other time. We may not feel it, and some days we find it hard to even believe that it’s true, but He is near. A breath away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The God of the universe, the One who determines the number of the stars, the One who gives to all of them their names is the same God that is right here with us, healing the brokenhearted and binding up our wounds (Psalm 147:4). He reminds us that we have not been forgotten! He sees our tears. He knows the impossible circumstances that we face. May that truth bring comfort and joy to us! When our hearts feel just as empty as the mantle of the fireplace, His very presence with us can cause us to say, <i>My heart is full! </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Promise<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There are so many beautiful, unshakeable promises in God’s Word, if only we will take the quiet moments to read them and remember them and pray for more faith to believe that they are absolutely true. All those promises? They are for us! For me! When God says <i>Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10),</i> we can trust that He will do just as He has promised to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">He is not expecting us to be stronger or braver, to ignore the difficult circumstances and pretend that everything is just silver bells and candy canes. When we are mentally counting down the days until December 25, wondering how we will make it through until then, He promises to be with us and to strengthen us, to help us and to uphold us. When the burdens are too heavy to carry, He promises to bear them for us. <i>Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. (Isaiah 53:4) </i>He knows that the griefs and the sorrows are way too heavy for our frail shoulders too bear. <i>Surely</i> He has borne them for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">It is in searching for those promises, in clinging to those promises with both hands, that we may find peace, that elusive peace that the birth of Jesus promised to bring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Perspective<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When our world crumbles and the ground shifts underneath our feet, when our life seems to be falling apart around us, it <i>feels</i> unbearable. It is excruciatingly painful. But it is here, in the rubble, in the emptiness that we have been given a unique gift that we might otherwise never have been able to receive. Wait, what? A gift? How can this - this heartbreak, these broken relationships, the loss of people we love the most – how can this be a gift? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Because now that everything else has been taken away, we have a new perspective. We understand with tear-stained eyes what God means when He says, <i>My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)</i> No longer can we boast in our capabilities or in our perfect Norman Rockwell families or in our strong faith or in a mantle overflowing with stockings. We don’t have any of those things! No, but now we can boast all the more gladly of our weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon us. Now that we are at our very weakest, we have a new appreciation for the power of Christ. It is the gift of <i>His</i> strength, not our own, that fills us with awe and magical wonder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">People<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Our families and our dreams and our health may be broken. We may have lost – temporarily or permanently - those who are the dearest and most precious to us. The deep voids in our hearts and in our lives may never be fully healed and filled. However, as we have faced these tragic and devastating circumstances, we have learned in a real and tangible way that we are not alone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">We have met others who have faced similar heartache. Others who, although they may not fully understand the depths of our grief, have come alongside us to support us and pray with us, to send us notes of encouragement, to cry with us. Others whom we might otherwise never have met.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There are the pastors in our churches who see the urgent texts, drop everything, and come. There are the members of our Small Group who never tire of seeing our tears. There are the friends who don’t mind the middle-of-the-night phone calls. The ones who remind us that in the darkest night when there seems to be no hope, He is the God who sees. There are the acquaintances we have known for many years, the ones who, now that we find ourselves on a similar path, we have come to know in a deeply personal way. There are the sisters who take time off work and fly all the way across the country so that they can say, in person, <i>I love you. Do not lose hope.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When we remember all these people, the kindred spirits whom God has brought into our lives, who have walked this painful journey alongside us, whose hearts have been forever bonded together with ours, it enables us to enter this season with joy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I don’t have to make it to December 25. I just need to make it through today. And today, in spite of all I have lost, I can remember how much I have been given! I have been given God’s very presence to comfort me. His promises to carry my burdens. A renewed perspective of His strength. People to walk this journey alongside me. Even in the deepest pain and most difficult struggles, I <i>can</i> give thanks! I <i>can</i> find peace and joy and the magic of the season.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There are still tears. There are still moments when I wonder, <i>Where are all the stockings?</i> But I cannot allow that nearly empty mantle of the fireplace to define me. To steal my joy. This evening, when the house is quiet and filled with the smell of fresh pine, my heart can be filled with gratitude. It can be filled with peace and joy and hope. I can still think to myself, and still choose to believe it and still feel it and still say it: <i>My heart is full!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-22371000350182423592019-11-20T20:01:00.000-05:002019-11-20T20:01:18.632-05:00Whatever It Takes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">My husband and I have been asking ourselves, what would mean for us to give the first and best of our time, of our talent, and of our treasure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">For more than 20 years, we had an unspoken motto: We were fully committed to doing whatever it takes to care for any foster child in our home. We sacrificed hundreds, maybe thousands of hours of free time, hobbies, friendships, date nights, even family vacations for one child. And then for the next child, and then for the one after that. This is what it meant for us to give the first and best of our time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Caring for these children was our passion, the joy of our heart. It was such an honor to care for the sickest, the weakest, the most broken and frail, and then to experience the thrill of watching them grow and thrive. Of course, having a child who was frequently in the hospital, or who was connected to life-saving equipment at home, or who struggled with unpredictable and destructive behaviors meant that we were unable to serve in church ministries or teach Sunday School classes or lead Bible studies. But it did mean that we were doing what God had called us and uniquely gifted us to do. This is what it meant for us to give the first and best of our talent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Earlier this year, when I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer, our motto suddenly, by necessity, switch directions. Now instead of doing whatever it takes to care for a foster child, we became committed to doing whatever it takes for me to fight cancer. For me to find healing and wholeness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Every month, in addition to the hours spent planning, purchasing and preparing nutritious foods; and in addition to the hours spent exercising and receiving alternative treatments; we spend hundreds of dollars on products that will cleanse toxins, alleviate pain, bolster deficiencies, promote calmness, and strengthen immune systems. There are Chinese herbs, nutritional supplements, vitamins, and essential oils. As the cancer continues to grow, we are researching every available treatment option.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">There are multitudes of books, DVD’s, webinars, conferences, and retreats available, all claiming to have the “secret” cure for cancer. There are nutritionists and naturopaths and holistic practitioners, some genuinely wanting to help, some preying on patients’ fear, all claiming to have unique healing protocols that offer hope. And all that costs hundreds of dollars, and none that are covered by medical insurance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">And then there are the big leagues: the cancer centers in Mexico that offer innovative, non-toxic cancer treatment and latest breakthrough therapies – none of which are approved or available in the United States. They all look so promising, and the testimonials of cancer survivors who have been treated there are so encouraging, so tear-jerking and inspiring. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">However, and this is a huge however . . . these clinics come at a steep cost. Extravagant fees for treatment that may or may not work. With absolutely no guarantees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">And yet, despite the outrageous costs, my husband and I are carefully researching and praying about these options. My cancer is stubbornly and relentlessly continuing to grow. Everything that I am doing for my health is clearly not enough. We are seriously considering these exorbitantly-priced cancer centers because we truly want to do whatever it takes for my healing. How can we put a price limitation on health? On my life?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">We have recently been challenged with another, infinitely more important question, however. Not, <i>Will you do whatever it takes for your foster child?</i> Nor, <i>Will you do whatever it takes for your health?</i> But this question:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Will you do whatever it takes to reach all people?<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">We have spent many years, almost our entire married life, giving the first and the best of our time. But now, we don’t know how much time I have left. Months? Years? We are simply unable to join a church-planting team or take on a leadership position or commit to a long-term ministry. Those roles require time, a resource which I may no longer have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">And we have spent many years giving the first and best of our talents. Using our gifts to love and serve and nurture the most vulnerable children in our community. But that season is over now, and we are still deeply grieving the loss of it. Still asking ourselves, <i>What now?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Well, after having given the first and best of our time and our talents, what about our treasure? What about the resources that we have? How are we investing the financial assets that we have been given?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Here are the questions we are asking ourselves . . . <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">We have been determined to do whatever it takes for me to find healing . . . are we equally determined to do whatever it takes to reach all people? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">If we are willing to spend hundreds of dollars each month on herbs and supplements and vitamins and essential oils so that I may be physically healed, shouldn’t we also be willing to spend hundreds of dollars each month so that others may be <i>spiritually</i> healed? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">If we are considering spening outrageous amounts of money for non-toxic medical treatments and therapies that could potentially treat me – just one person – are we equally willing to consider spending outrageous amounts of money that could potentially reach many? Resources that could offer many, not just a few years of physical health, but could offer them peace with God for all of eternity? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">How much does forever cost? How can we put a price limitation on the soul of someone who is lost? On the eternal life of someone who has never heard the name of Jesus?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">The Lord . . . bestows His riches on all who call on Him.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">For</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed?<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">And how are they to believe in Him</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">of whom they have never heard?<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">And how are they to hear</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">without someone preaching?</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">And how are they to preach unless they are sent?<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">As it is written,</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">“How beautiful are the feet of those<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">who preach the good news!”</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Romans 10:12-15</span></i></span><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">In order for someone to call on the name of the Lord and be saved, first he needs to believe. But before he can believe, he needs to hear the gospel, the good news of God’s love and grace and forgiveness. But before he can hear, someone with “beautiful feet” needs to preach. To go, across the ocean or across the street, to preach and share and explain. To serve and lead and love. But before he can go, he needs to be sent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">My husband and I are unable, at this season of our lives, to go. But does that mean that we should sit on the sidelines? Do nothing? Or can we continue to say yes to what God had called us and uniquely gifted us to do?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">What if we would be willing to give the first and best of our treasure, not so that we could go, but so that others could go? So that others, those who are in a different season than us, those with more time and talents to give, might be inspired to say yes to what God is calling them and has uniquely gifted <i>them</i> to do? So that others might be equipped and trained and sent to share the good news of God’s love to those who so desperately need to hear it? So that they might have the resources to go – across the ocean or across the street – to preach and share and engage, to serve and lead and love, maybe even opening their own hearts and homes to the most vulnerable children in our community? What if, instead of being the willing goers, we could become the generous senders?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">What if we prayed just as fervently, not only that I would be physically well, but that <i>many </i>would be spiritually well? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">What if we were just as committed to do whatever it takes, not only so that I might <i>possibly </i>find healing in the name of the</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"> latest breakthrough therapies, but so that many might <i>assuredly</i> find healing in the name of Jesus? So that those who are broken might find wholeness? So that those who are in bondage might find freedom? So that those who are orphaned might find a family. So that those who are filled with shame might find forgiveness and peace and joy that can only come from knowing Him? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">What if we invested our resources, not only so that I would have an opportunity to live, but so that all would have an opportunity to <i>truly</i> live. So that <i>all</i> would have an opportunity to hear and believe. So that <i>all</i> might call on the name of the Lord.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">And so we are asking ourselves: Are we willing to do whatever it takes?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">where</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></i></span><span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">moth and rust<sup data-fn="#fen-ESV-23302a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-ESV-23302a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]" style="box-sizing: border-box;"> </sup>destroy <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">and where thieves</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></i></span><span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">break in and steal,</span><b><sup></sup></b></i></span><i><b><span style="text-align: start;"> <o:p></o:p></span></b></i></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">where neither moth nor rust destroys <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">and where thieves do not break in and steal.</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">For where your treasure is, <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">there your heart will be also.</span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span class="woj"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">Matthew 6:19-21</span></i></span><i style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-91841672800436664472019-10-12T16:35:00.000-04:002019-10-12T17:10:52.829-04:00Reluctant Warrior<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">There are many roles I have chosen for myself. Roles I love. I am a Christ-follower, a wife, a long-time foster and adoptive mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a homeschool teacher, a neighbor, a sign-language interpreter and a blogger. But now, for the past few months, I have had another role thrown at me: a warrior. Being a warrior is not a role I would have chosen for myself. I did not voluntarily sign up for this. I am unskilled, ill-equipped, and insecure at times, but a reluctant warrior nonetheless.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">When I first heard the words <i>cancer, rare, aggressive, incurable, stage 4</i>, I naturally felt deep fear. Terrified at the unknown future. How long do I have left to live? And how long will I still feel like <i>me</i>? How long will I feel well and be able to take care of myself and take care of the two youngest children that God has brought into our family through adoption? What will the symptoms be like as they worsen and progress? What will it feel like when I am no longer able to speak or to swallow or to breathe on my own? What if the pain becomes excruciating? How will I bear it?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">Suddenly, it felt like this little village that is my body was being attacked, under siege by a powerful enemy, and even if I could somehow defend myself from its progression, it would only be a matter of time before this evil conqueror would eventually prevail.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">Sitting in the oncologist’s office that day, I felt weak and helpless, utterly at the mercy of the cold, clinical medical technology and what it would do to me. I felt like a victim. No choice, no voice, no power over the limited treatment options I was being offered, nor the dreadful side effects – both temporary and permanent – that would be left in their wake. I felt a deep emptiness inside, knowing that my season of advocating for orphaned and vulnerable children, of caring for them and loving them in my home, was over. Now, instead of foster mom, adoptive mom, speaker, advocate, mentor – roles I was passionate about - I was forced to become “cancer patient.” And with every bone in my body, I hated it, grieving the loss of all that I had lost.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">For several weeks after receiving my diagnosis, my heart was filled with fear and dread. Uncertainty about which direction to take. My husband and I spent countless hours researching and discussing options, praying for wisdom, weeping in grief and worry, seeking counsel. For weeks I lost sleep, was unable to think of anything else, and was almost completely paralyzed with anxiety. Not only did I have a physical enemy that was attacking my bodily health, but I had a mental enemy, every bit as detrimental, that was attacking my emotional health. I couldn’t go on like this.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">One evening, some of the pastors and elders from our church came to our home to pray with us, And right in the middle of their visit, I received a phone call – a second opinion from a specialist at a leading-edge facility in another state – that I had been waiting for. Those two events, happening within minutes of each other, provided the clarity we had been looking for. We finally knew which path to take, and finally, we felt peace. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">From here forward, we decided, I would take responsibility for my own wellness. I would seek alternative, natural, non-toxic treatments; I would focus on wholesome nutrition for my maximum health; I would exercise to build up my strength and stamina; and with a medical practitioner’s guidance, I would take vitamins and supplements . . . all with the goal of strengthening my immune system to be able to fight this cancer on its own. My body may be under attack by a deadly enemy, but that doesn’t mean I can’t fight back!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">After making this decision, it seemed so obvious. If given the choice of chemotherapy, which the oncologist assured me would be “brutal,” making me almost instantly weak and nauseous and frail, with no guarantee that it would work and with no guarantee that I would survive it; or the choice to be as healthy as I can possibly be, with no guarantee that it would work or that I would survive it, of course I would choose to be healthy as long as possible. To be <i>me </i>as long as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">Once that decision was made, I felt like a real warrior, not only in my battle against cancer, but in my battle against the incessant fear. I no longer felt weak or helpless. I was no longer a victim. In fact, the opposite is true. Now, when I am in my kitchen making bone broth and juicing vegetables and tossing a fresh salad with home-made balsamic dressing, I feel strong and capable. I feel empowered, knowing that I am doing everything I can to be well. When I am running my daily mile, lifting weights at the gym, sweating out the toxins in the sauna, I feel confident and brave. This life-threatening enemy that has my little village under siege? It is still here. And it is still wicked and persistent, still trying every vicious strategy it can to take control. But I am not giving up this battle. I am fighting with fortitude, feeling courageous with each new day that I am still alive. Thankful that I still feel like <i>me</i> with each new day that I am still alive.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">At my 3-month appointment with the oncologist, and again at the 6-month appointment just a few weeks ago, the news was not what I had hoped to hear. Despite my best efforts. Despite the nutritious food and diligent care that I am giving to my health, the tumors in my neck (7 of them at last count) are continuing to grow. Threatening to block my carotid artery, which provides life-giving blood and oxygen to my brain. As I listened to the results, my tears flowed. Again! How could I not feel disappointed? How could I not feel frustrated that all my hard work and careful vigilance seem to be in vain? That in the battle between cancer and health, this savage cancer seems to be winning?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">The disappointment and frustration were, thankfully, short-lived. The good news is that, although the tumors are continuing to grow, they are not growing nearly as quickly as the doctors would have expected. This cancer? It is, by all accounts, angry and aggressive. Statistically, it should have won by now. The fact that it hasn’t gained any more ground than it already has, that my health is still strong and stable, is a testament to the power of the immune system to fight hard. And this fills me with hope. Hope that I am making the right decisions, following the right path, doing the right things. Hope that maybe, in this battle between cancer and health, my health isn’t going to give up just yet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">In fact, it is hope, the anticipation of the future ahead of me, that inspires me to keep fighting this battle every day. To keep putting one foot in front of the other, to keep pressing on. And even, inexplicably, to look beyond myself and my current diagnosis, and to pray that God would still allow me to serve. That somehow, He might be able to use my life and the days I have left to make an impact.*<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">God’s Word is filled with stories of unwinnable battles. Of invading armies that are much too powerful for ordinary people to fight. Again and again, though, God doesn’t say, <i>Girl, you got this!</i> No. Instead, He says, <i>Do not be afraid!</i> He says, <i>Remember what I have already done!</i> And He says, <i>I will be with you!</i> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">“If you say in your heart, this enemy is greater than I. How can I win this battle? You shall not be afraid, but you shall remember what the Lord your God has done . . . the wonders, the mighty hand, and the outstretched arm, by which the Lord your God brought you out. You shall not be afraid, for the Lord your God is in your midst, a great and awesome God.” (Deuteronomy 7:17-21)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">With the great and awesome God right here with me, I no longer need to feel afraid. The enemy is still a very dangerous one. My future is still uncertain. The prognosis is still not good. I don’t know if I will have many more days or only a few more days. Or what those days will be like. Or how many of those days I will still feel like <i>me</i>. But this I do know. Even as “I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear, for You are with me.” (Psalm 23:4) And I know that the days I have left will be good ones. That “surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.” (Psalm 23:6)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">Each day is different. Each step, each moment of this battle has its own unique challenges. There has been some fear and plenty of tears along the way. There have been days when I feel week and vulnerable. Ultrasounds and test results and medical appointments have a way of filling me with discouragement. Sometimes I just lay in bed and think, <i>I don’t want to be a warrior any more.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">But mostly I still feel like me. I feel courageous and strong and able, full of life. Mostly I feel hopeful and optimistic and confident, knowing that whether the test results look good or not, whether I am struggling with fatigue or running an extra mile, God’s goodness and His mercy are right here with me. God Himself, the great and awesome God, is right here with me! Oh, how that fills me with hope! How that gives me courage to keep pressing on! To keep fighting! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">I may be unskilled, ill-equipped, and insecure at times. This is not a battle I would have chosen. But with God right here with me, I can be courageous. I can be confident. I will continue to fight. I will fight the cancer by living well, and I will fight the fear by choosing, every day, to believe. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: large;">Because I am, reluctant or not, a warrior.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">* My husband and I, along with our two youngest children, have an opportunity to go on a mission trip to Jamaica next spring. I can hardly believe that we are making plans for a mission trip that is 6 months in the future! To find out more about this amazing opportunity and why we are hoping to go, I invite you to visit <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/manage/we-wish-to-serve" style="color: #954f72;">www.gofundme.com/manage/we-wish-to-serve</a><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-26281570425643719162019-10-02T21:39:00.000-04:002019-10-02T23:26:30.743-04:00Building the Bridge<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Even before I turn the corner to the hallway leading to my daughter’s preschool classroom, I can hear the cries coming from that direction. And a moment later, I can see where the cries are coming from. A little girl, clinging frantically onto her daddy’s leg, begging him not to leave. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">This is a fairly common scene on a weekday morning at preschools everywhere, but for some reason, on this particular morning, this particular little girl catches my attention. Her sobs and the tears running down her face touch my heart in almost a physical way. I can practically feel her pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">I don’t know this girl, and I don’t know why she is crying. Maybe she cries every time he leaves, and she hasn’t yet learned how to say goodbye. Maybe she needs an extra moment of connection with him before they separate for the next few hours. An extra reassurance from him, as she faces the terrifying world of social and academic expectations, that <i>Sweetheart, everything is going to be ok. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">She clearly has some big emotions, and hasn’t yet learned how to talk about them or how to handle them in any other way, so she is expressing those big emotions the only way she knows how. By crying and clinging onto her daddy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Her daddy speaks harshly to his little girl, telling her to <i>Stop crying!</i> He peels her arms away from his leg, and pushes her away towards the classroom door. He pushes her away! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">I don’t know this daddy, and I don’t know why he just responded to his daughter the way he did. Maybe the clock is ticking, and he can’t risk being late for work. Maybe she has been crying and clingy all morning, and his patience finally succumbed to irritation. Maybe he is embarrassed by this public display of emotion and his apparent inability to control it. Maybe he just wants what all parents want – a daughter who is confident, independent, and fearless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">I don’t know this little girl or her father. But what I do know, is that this little girl will eventually grow up. In the blink of an eye, she will become a big girl, and somewhere along the line, she will have successfully learned how to <i>stop crying!</i> She will have learned how to handle her big emotions in different ways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">Some day she will no longer ask for that extra moment of connection from him before they say goodbye. Most likely, she will barely look up from her screen. She will no longer cling to him with tears running down her face, but will, instead, walk away confidently - into the classroom, out the front door, down the aisle, into her future. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">And when that time comes, what if she never looks back? When her heart is broken or when her dreams come crashing down or when she faces the terrifying world of adult expectations and responsibilities, why would she turn to a daddy who pushes her away?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">I do not know what the future holds for this little girl and her daddy. But I do know this. Today, this very moment, he has a unique opportunity to build a bridge towards her. Stone by stone, beam by beam. With every gentle hug he offers, with every moment of undivided attention. With loving eye contact, listening ears, kind and encouraging words, a smile, a wink, a whispered secret, a fist bump, a quick <i>I am so proud of you!</i>, a private handshake, a pat on her back . . . with each expression of his love towards her, he is building that bridge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">And then, years from now, when the winds and rain and storms of life come crashing down, when the torrential waters rush underneath, threatening the foundation, splintering the wood, eroding the stones, weakening the joints . . . that bridge, the link between a daddy and his daughter, will stand firm and unshakeable. He may not be able to protect his little girl from the storm, but he can be with her, right there in the middle of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">When the ending of a relationship causes her heart to break into a thousand pieces, she will know that she can turn to her daddy for comfort, because that’s what her daddy does. W</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">hen her life isn't turning out the way she expected that it would, and when she </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">is thoroughly disheartened and feels like a complete failure, she knows that her daddy will be the one to say, because he has said it thousands of times before, <i>I am so proud of you! </i> </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">When the diagnosis comes altogether unexpectedly, and the very earth shakes beneath her feet, she will know without a doubt, that her daddy would never tell her to <i>Stop crying!</i> </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">That he would hug her gently and give her his undivided attention as she talks about her fears for the future.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: large;">This little girl will someday become a big girl, and hopefully she will be confident, independent, and fearless. Everything her daddy hopes she will become. Even so, there may be days ahead when she will need that bridge back to her daddy. Back to his reassurance that no matter what dark and terrifying circumstances she is facing, <i>Sweetheart, everything is going to be ok.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don’t know this little girl or her daddy, and I don’t know what the future holds for them. But I do know this. Today, this very moment, he has a unique opportunity to build that bridge. </span><span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-42065943582442229342019-08-25T22:25:00.000-04:002019-08-26T13:46:49.359-04:00Teaching Him<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Please, God. Please don’t make me do this! Surely there is some other way. Surely there is a solution I haven’t thought of yet. You know me! You know I am weak and exhausted and ill-equipped for this path. You know I have cancer, for heaven’s sake! God, you know I can’t do this!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And yet, despite my tear-filled tantrum, despite my reminding God of all the things He already knows, this is precisely what He is asking me to do. He is asking me to teach my son. At home. We tried sending him to school where he might be able to receive the special education that he needs. But that was not the answer. We tried hiring a private teacher at home where his fragile health will be protected. But that was not the answer either. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">No, I know in the depths of my heart that there is no other option for his education. For this season, anyway, God is calling <i>me </i>to this task. He is calling me to rely on, not the experts or the professionals or the “multitudes.” There is certainly a time and a place and season for those resources. But for this season, He wants me to rely on the Holy One of Israel. He wants me to seek help from <i>Him</i> as I walk this path. (Isaiah 31:1)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And the path, for me, is daunting. Since the day I met him nearly ten years ago, I have poured myself wholeheartedly into protecting him and keeping him healthy. I have researched his complicated physical conditions and have found the very best specialists who can help him to thrive. And it has been such a tremendous joy to see him thrive! Every day, his vibrant personality and zeal for life simply amazes me! The fact that he is alive simply amazes me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But his learning difficulties? His neuro-developmental disabilities? Those are way beyond me. They defy my ability to understand. How can I possibly teach him to read, much less to comprehend and apply what he is reading? How can I help him memorize math facts when numbers make no sense to him? But even more frightening than the academics is the life-skills that are so essential for him to learn. How can I possibly teach him everything he needs to know to live a productive and independent life some day? The very thought of it overwhelms and almost paralyzes me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Caring for foster children is, by very definition, temporary. It is loving and giving and serving and nurturing and healing for a finite period of time. And then when the child leaves, it means battling the fear for the future, and choosing to believe that God will continue to provide everything that child needs in someone else’s home. In a place you cannot see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But adoption is another story altogether. It may mean committing to loving and giving and serving and nurturing and healing, not just for 18 years, but possibly for the rest of your life. It means battling the fear for the future, and choosing to believe that God will continue to provide everything that child needs in your <i>own </i>home. In a place you <i>can</i> see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I do know, however, that the God who is calling me to this difficult path is not a tyrant, asking me to do something I don’t want to do because He is cruel. No, He is a God who longs to be gracious to me, who is full of compassion for me. (Isaiah 30:18) He is writing my son’s story according to His plan, and somehow, inexplicably, He want to use an ordinary person like me to accomplish it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">On those days when I am so incredibly discouraged, and when it seems as if all my striving and all my best efforts are futile and pointless. When I cannot see a single purpose in all of it, and I just want to give up, He is my source of strength. (Isaiah 28:6) He is not asking me to try harder or do better. It is when I am quiet, when I trust Him, that I find strength to press on. (Isaiah 30:15)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For all those times I am so bone-weary that I cannot take another step. When getting out of bed in the morning and putting one foot in front of the other, when hanging on to hope even when I can’t really see hope, He is my resting place. He says, <i>Let the weary rest.</i> (Isaiah 28:12)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When God asked me to take this path for which I am ill-equipped and not gifted and not at all prepared, and when my heart is filled with fear, not knowing what the future holds for my struggling son, the Lord is a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation. When I rely on Him, fully and completely surrendered to His good and perfect purposes, I will never be stricken with panic. (Isaiah 28:16)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When I seriously don’t know what is best for my child, when I am faced with significant decisions and I have no idea which way to turn, He promises to instruct me. He is the One who teaches me the right way. (Isaiah 28:26) There is not some secret wisdom that I just need to try harder to find. Whether I turn to the right or to the left, He is with me, whispering into my heart, <i>This is the way, walk in it.</i> (Isaiah 30:20-21)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When I look at my own deficiencies and question – again! – <i>God, are you sure you chose the right person for this task? </i> He reminds me that all this is from the Lord Almighty, whose plan is wonderful, whose wisdom is magnificent. (Isaiah 28:29)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When I get frustrated and impatient – and let’s be honest, repeating the same things hundreds of times in hundreds of different and creative ways, and still he fails to grasp it, how can I not get frustrated and impatient?! – what I am really doing is questioning the Creator, wondering if He made a mistake. Implying that He didn’t know what He was doing when He formed me with all of my limitations, or even worse, implying that He didn’t know what He was doing when He formed my precious child with all of <i>his</i> limitations. Would I really do that? How dare I? (Isaiah 29:16) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As I walk this long and difficult path, I may not see the fruit of my labor. There may never be miraculous results. My son may never be able to live a productive and independent life. But God is not asking me to produce results. He is asking me to be faithful. He is asking me to obey. He is asking me to sow the seeds in the ground, day after day after day, trusting Him to send the rain. (Isaiah 30:23) The fruit of my obedience may never be visible, but the fruit of my obedience will be peace. Its effect will be quietness and confidence that may never be produced in any other way. That I may never experience by taking any other path. (Isaiah 32:16-17)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Ultimately, I know that the God who is calling me to this challenging path is the same God who is reminding me that it is not even about me. It is not about what I can see or what I cannot do. It is about what <i>He </i>can do. I know that someday, when I look back on this hard season, I will be astounded with wonder upon wonder at all that He accomplished! (Isaiah 29:14) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And in that future day, the Lord Almighty will be a glorious crown, a beautiful wreath for me, His child. Not that He will <i>give </i>me a crown, but He, Himself will <i>be </i>my crown. Almighty God will be my greatest prize. My sweetest gift. (Isaiah 28:5)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As I continue down this path, may I teach my son well. May I <i>love</i> my son well. May I patiently teach him to read and write and memorize math facts. But more importantly, may I teach him the very same things that the Lord is teaching me. To walk in obedience. To cry out to the Lord, who is full of grace and compassion. Ultimately, may I teach him to believe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">The Lord longs to be gracious to you; <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">therefore He will rise up to show you compassion. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Blessed are all who wait for Him! . . <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">How gracious He will be when you cry for help! <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">As soon as He hears, He will answer you. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">(Isaiah 30:18-19)<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"> </span></span></i><b><i><sup><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"></span></sup></i></b><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-41443792198310331512019-06-06T10:35:00.000-04:002019-10-07T16:18:01.164-04:00When Your Bucket List Overflows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">It’s cancer. Malignant. Stage 4. Angry and aggressive. Rare. Incurable.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The oncologist is speaking, and she is saying words that surely I must have heard before. But never have I realized what ugly, vile words they are. These words? Describing me? Unbelievable!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The oncologist goes on, almost apologetically, explaining that medical science doesn’t know what could have caused this terrible disease, especially since I do not have any of the usual risk factors. I am young-ish, not overweight, non-smoker, no family history. Not even any genetic mutations or elevated tumor markers. Well, medical science may not have clinical evidence to prove it, but secretly, I suspect the real cause. In fact, I have suspected it for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I mean, the human body can only endure so much anxiety and trauma and grief and heartache, before something has got to give. Honestly, during our 20+ years of caring for some of our community’s most broken and most fragile and most needy children in our home, I have given my finite body an Olympic-worthy workout. I have demanded of my little adrenal glands, day after day, year after year that they keep producing an almost constant stream of adrenaline and cortisol, those hormones that the body needs during times of extreme stress. How can that not eventually have an adverse effect?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Those thousands of nights when I should have been sleeping, that vital time when the body’s cells restore and rejuvenate, but instead I was keeping vigil at a child’s bedside, wondering if he or she would survive until morning. The thousands of nights when I cried into my pillow, wondered if <i>I </i>would survive until morning. Managing countless moments of destructive behaviors, calming violent outbursts and tantrums, trying desperately to understand the hidden fears and hurts behind the rage. Grabbing a quick granola bar or skipping meals altogether on my way out the door to yet another appointment or meeting or visit or court hearing. The frequent worry and desperate prayers for a child’s uncertain and precarious future. The dozens and dozens of times that I was overcome by grief, weeping for days when a flawed court system suddenly decided that a precious child who had been a part of my heart and a beloved member of our family for months or years, would not be able to stay, and I knew that life would never again be the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">How could many years of, quite literally, laying down my life (John 15:13) for the least of these (Matthew 25:45) not eventually have an impact? How could a lifetime of “being poured out as a drink offering” (2 Timothy 4:6) not eventually take its toll? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">On the drive home from the appointment with the oncologist, my husband and I are both stunned, and we are both thinking of our own uncertain and precarious future. He asks me, in all sincerity, <i>Do you have a bucket list?</i> It’s the “list” that people make, when they write down everything they want to accomplish or experience in their limited time left on earth. My husband is most likely thinking of something along the lines of sky diving, or mountain climbing, or learning to speak Italian, or traveling one last time to a beautiful, exotic location. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As I ponder his question over the next few days, I realize that I do not, in fact, have a bucket list. Or do I? It’s true that I do not have a shelf full of trophies or travel photos or advanced degrees. I never wrote a book or gave an inspiring speech or posted a video that went viral. I never went sky diving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">However, I can look back at my life and honestly say that God has already allowed me the great privilege of accomplishing every single item on the bucket list that I didn’t even know I had. In fact, my Bucket, the life which I have lived, has been filled with love and joy and purpose. Overflowing with gratitude that God would choose me, inadequate and unqualified as I am, to care for the forgotten ones. So often I prayed that God would bring into our home the ones that no one else wanted. The ones that no one else was brave enough to love. And so often, He faithfully answered that prayer. What an incredible honor it has been to serve Him in that way!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All the loving and serving and giving. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All the comforting and soothing and connecting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All the training and redirecting and disciplining. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All the feeding and bathing and dressing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All the holding and rocking and singing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All the encouraging and nurturing and inspiring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All of those moments of sacrifice were invisible. And yet, not one of those invisible moments of sacrifice were wasted. So what if most of the 8 billion people in the world will never know my name? I know, with absolute certainty, that the 72 children who lived in my home now know the name of Jesus. They were prayed over. They were loved, fully and passionately and deeply. And doesn’t that make all the other stuff, the sleepless nights and the missed meals and the distress and the hardships, yes, even the compromised health, absolutely worth it? How could I regret loving even one of them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There is the little boy who is alive today because, when he was in the hospital and the doctors’ goal was to make him as comfortable as possible until the end, I said yes to caring for him and protecting him. I am profoundly grateful that God allowed me to witness, up close and personally, the miracle that is this child’s life!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There was another little boy who came to us broken - severely traumatized, physically scarred, unable to do anything except sit on the floor and rock himself back and forth or bang his head against the wall. He never slept for more than 30 minutes at a time. After months of patiently waiting, gently nurturing, and intentionally connecting, I was amazed and thrilled the day that he picked up a toy. And played with it. When I heard his beautiful laughter breaking through the brokenness, my heart almost exploded. My Bucket overflowed!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There were the two boys who lived with us many years ago. Their father recently contacted us and said, “I am forever indebted to you. I returned to the church after years away. When you took care of my boys, that was the beginning of my becoming a Christ follower.” Just, wow! To think that my husband and I get to spend all of eternity with this man, worshipping Jesus together!! What could possibly be added to my Bucket List that would be more amazing than that?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There are the five little ones who came into our home as strangers, wards of the state, belonging to no one. One of them did not even have a name, just the words “Baby Boy” typed on his birth certificate. Well, trust me, he has a name now . . . our name. These five now belong, permanently and irrevocably, to a family. They are, each one of them, our beloved sons and daughters! Would I have preferred a simpler, easier, more comfortable life in exchange for never having met them? For never having the great privilege of being their mom? For losing even one moment of loving them? Never! With these five treasures in my life, my Bucket List is 100% complete.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">So what happens now? Now, that I face such a frightening and unknown future? Well, now I do the same things that I have always done. The same energy which I poured into all those precious children, giving them hope for their future, I am now pouring into my health, giving myself hope for my future. The same faith that I held onto tenaciously, trusting, believing with every breath that God has good plans for each one of them, is the same faith that I hold onto now, trusting, believing with every breath that God has good plans for me. The same fervent prayers I used to pray for God’s hand of healing upon them, I am now praying for God’s hand of healing upon myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Throughout the years, there have been many times when God answered my desperate prayers, in incredible and unexpected ways, more than I ever could have imagined. I have stood in awe at the amazing events that He was able to bring about! At the impossible circumstances He was able to overcome. At the miracles that were so extraordinary, so awesome, I was left breathless! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And there were many other times when the unthinkable happened. I have stood in shock when my most heartfelt prayers remained unanswered. When things did not turn out as I had hoped. When I was left with nothing but loss and heartache and emptiness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And the same is true now. I may live only a few more months, or I may, miraculously, live many more years. But either way, if the miracle happens or if the unthinkable happens, I know that God is perfectly able to accomplish His purposes (Isaiah 46:10-11). Either way, I know that not one of His promises will fail (Joshua 21:45). The future may be uncertain, but of this I am convinced . . . not death or life, not the present or the future, not joy or sorrow, not <i>anything</i> will be able to separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). My life, my “bucket” if you will, belongs entirely to Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I am truly, truly thankful that God has loved me and that He has chosen me and that He called me to this amazing journey. I have no regrets. Yes, choosing a life of selfless living may have finally caught up with me. But guess what? I may not live a long life, but I lived!! I lived fully. I loved well. I fought hard. I ran strong. I gave my all. And despite the many times I faltered and thought for sure I wasn’t going to make it, by God’s amazing love and faithfulness and grace, my faith held on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">My Bucket List has overflowed. It has been poured out. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">and the time of my departure has come. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">I have fought the good fight, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">2 Timothy 4:6-7<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-54808789013392457862019-05-24T21:03:00.000-04:002019-05-24T21:47:57.777-04:00That Time We Said No<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the new foster placement coordinator <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">(I don’t think we have met yet). I see from our <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">records that you have space available in your <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">home, and I was wondering if you might be <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">interested in taking a new foster placement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We would be willing to consider it, sure!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Can you give me some more details?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">There is a 3-year old little boy who is in the<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">hospital and ready to be discharged soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Oh, wow! Do you know why he is in the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">hospital? Does he have a lot of medical <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">needs? Will he need special care?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I just got the paperwork from the investigator, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">so I am unfamiliar with the case. Let’s see . . .<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">It looks like he has a feeding tube and he has <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">a trach. And possibly some endocrine issues. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He is being taken into protective custody due <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">to medical neglect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Oh, no! That poor child! My heart goes out <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">to him. However, we have had several <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">children with trachs over the years, and they <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">are SO hard! They need full-time, 24-hour <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">care, and we just cannot commit to that. We <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">are going to have to say no. I’m so sorry!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Ok, well, let me see if I can get some more<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">information and then get back with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">That’s fine if you want to find out more <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">information, but we are unable to take a child <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">with a trach. We really need to say no.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Thank you for your honesty. I understand <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">that this would be a big commitment. Let me <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">put you in touch with his medical team at the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">hospital. They may be able to give you more <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">details about his care, and answer any <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">questions you may have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Ok, sure. It never hurts to get more <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">information and ask some questions, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a name='more'></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the hospital social worker for the little <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">3-year old boy. I was so excited to see that <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">you and your husband are going to be his new <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">foster parents! You guys are amazing, and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">everyone here at the hospital just loves you! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Thank you for your kind words! We have <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">enjoyed working with all of you as well! But <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">there must be a misunderstanding. We <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">have NOT committed to anything! The <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">placement coordinator asked us about <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">taking him, but she didn’t have very much <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">information, and said that you might be able <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">to answer some questions. That’s all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Ah. I understand. Why don’t you come to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">the hospital and meet him and speak with his <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">medical team? They will be able to give you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">specific details about what kind of care he will <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">need. From what I understand, he may not <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">have his trach in for very much longer, and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">he may not even be in foster care very long. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He really just needs temporary care with an <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">experienced foster family until everything can <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">get sorted out, and I cannot think of a more <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">perfect family for him to go to. Can you and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">your husband come in tomorrow morning?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">It would be great to see you again!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Possibly. Let me check with my husband <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">and see if he is available tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">You are going to absolutely fall in love <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">with this little guy! He is a beautiful child!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hi, Honey! Guess what? We got a call about <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">taking a foster child with a trach. I said no – <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">of course! - but they are asking us to go to the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">hospital and meet with his medical team to get <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">more information. Are you available tomorrow?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I have some meetings that can probably be <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">rearranged. We can go, but of course we <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">aren’t going to take him! I feel bad for these <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">kids, but man! Caring for them can be so <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">exhausting! And anyway, where would he <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">sleep if he came to our house?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I’m sure we could do some rearranging of <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">beds and furniture tonight after you get home <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">from work. </span><span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 14pt;">:)</span><span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> He would need the bedroom <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">downstairs, for the nurses that would be <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">coming and going at all hours. NOT that we <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">are going to say yes!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I checked with my husband, and yes, we can <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">be there at the hospital tomorrow morning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">See you then!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Great! I’ll make sure his medical team is <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">available to answer any questions, have them <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">start preparing his discharge paperwork, order <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">his home medical equipment and supplies, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">request nursing care, and work on getting all <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">of his follow-up appointments scheduled. I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">look forward to seeing you tomorrow!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hi friend! Thank you SO much for watching <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">my kiddos today while we are at the hospital. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I truly had NO idea that it was going to take <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">this long! I’m SO sorry!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">No problem! They are having fun here. Let <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">me know when you are on your way, and I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">will meet you at your house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the home health agency. We are working <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">on getting nursing care in place for your new<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">foster placement. When can we meet with you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">to go over the details of his care?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We aren’t home right now. We are at the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">hospital, getting ready for discharge. They <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">said it would be a few more hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Ok. Let me know when you are on your way, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">and I will meet you at your house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the home medical equipment company. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We received an order for oxygen tanks, medical <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">equipment, and medical supplies. When can we <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">deliver them to your home?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We aren’t home right now. We are at the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">hospital, getting ready for discharge. They <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">said it would be a few more hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Ok. Let me know when you are on your way, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">and I will meet you at your house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the new social worker assigned to this <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">case. I need to meet you and the child within <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">24 hours of him coming into care, and I have <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">some paperwork I need you to sign. When <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">can I come for a home visit?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We aren’t home right now. We are at the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">hospital, getting ready for discharge. They <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">said it would be a few more hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Ok. Let me know when you are on your way, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">and I will meet you at your house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the developmental services agency. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I understand you have a new foster child who <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">is going to need some speech therapy, feeding <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">therapy, developmental therapy, and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">occupational therapy. Can I send you some <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">questionnaires to fill out so that we can get <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">these therapies started?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I literally just met this child today! I have no <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">idea of his family health history, if he was <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">premature, how old he was when he sat up, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">or any of the developmental milestones he <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">has or has not reached. I can’t fill out a <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">questionnaire. I know nothing about him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">No problem. We will want to do our own <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">evaluations anyway, so just fill out what you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">can, and get the paperwork back to me as <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">soon as possible. I would like to get started <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">on finding the right therapists for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hey, Sweetie! I’m sorry I had to leave after <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">meeting the medical team this morning, but I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">had some commitments at work this afternoon, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">and I just couldn’t stay. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">How’s it going? Has he been discharged <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">yet? Do you need me for anything? And by <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">the way, they were right . . . we ARE going to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">fall in love with this little guy! Good thing we<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">said no! Ha ha!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">OMG! He hasn’t been discharged yet, and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">already I am SO overwhelmed! Everyone <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">is contacting me, I’m trying to listen to all the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> instructions from his doctors, I need to sign <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">tons of paperwork, he has 8 follow-up <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">appointments in the next few weeks, and I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">am going to be inundated with MORE people <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">needing my attention the minute we pull into <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">the driveway. What in the world are we <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">doing?!?!?! I thought we said no!!!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">You are going to do great! You are REALLY <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">good at this!! We know it will be very hard at <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">first, but we will get into a good routine and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">figure it all out. We are on this adventure <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">together, Sweetie! Love you!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hi, friend! How’s it going? A few of us are <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">having a holiday get-together, and wanted <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">to know if you are free to join us? We <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">haven’t seen you for a while, and we would <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">love to catch up!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Thank you SO much for thinking of me, but I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">can’t. We have a new foster child who has <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">been living with us for a few weeks now, and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I just cannot do one more thing! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Oh, wow! You are a rock star! How’s it going?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Honestly, it’s absolutely insane! He is still <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">adjusting and wants to be held and cuddled <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">all the time (which I love!!), but I barely have <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">time to sit down. He has SO many appointments <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">and therapies and visits with his parents. He <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">needs 24/7 care, but the nurses they promised <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">us have been very inconsistent. I haven’t <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">gotten any sleep, and I’m SO exhausted! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Let us help! We can bring meals, watch <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">your other kids while you take a nap (in your <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">free time, ha ha!), whatever you need. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Please ask! Are you ready for Christmas?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Christmas? You mean, like that holiday <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">that’s coming up in just a few days! I can’t even.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Send us your shopping list! And your kids’ sizes! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We will even do all the wrapping for you! We <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">are on it!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">You are a God-send! Thank you so, so much!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">because you know that your labor in the Lord <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Thank you, my friend! That is exactly the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">reminder and encouragement that I need today!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hi! This is the hospital social worker <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">checking in with you. I have a quick update <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">from this little boy’s medical team. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Unfortunately, he is going to have his trach <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">a lot longer than we originally thought. We <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">are just heading into cold and flu season, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">and his doctors don’t want to risk him <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">getting a respiratory infection without having <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">the safety of his trach to help him breathe. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">So they will wait until spring, and then <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">re-evaluate him and his health at that time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I know you are disappointed, but hang in <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">there! You are doing a great job!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the social worker again. The court <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">approved longer and more frequent visits for <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">the parents. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">MORE visits? How is this earthly possible? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We only have 24 hours in a day, and he <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">already has doctors’ appointments, specialists, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">therapists, etc. that we can barely schedule as <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">it is! He needs time to be a kid!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Sorry, the visits are court-ordered. He will <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">have a 2-hour visit with dad and then another <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">2-hour visit with mom. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Seriously!?!? FOUR hours of visits? With all <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">of his medical problems, he is SO easily <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">fatigued.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Please bring him to the office on Friday morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He will miss yet another day of preschool, and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">he is already SO delayed! And I will have to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">rearrange his feeding therapy, which is <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">scheduled for that time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Sorry, the visits are court-ordered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">When is the next court hearing? Does the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">judge know that he is medically fragile? Can <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">you request that he have shorter visits?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I will make a note of it. See you Friday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hi there, my friend! Just checking in to see <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">how you are doing. Everything going ok?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">No, everything is NOT going ok! I hate this <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">SO much! Some days I literally feel like I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">am going insane! Why, oh why did I ever <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">agree to this?!?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">“And let us not grow weary of doing good, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">for in due season we will reap, if we do not <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">give up.” (Galatians 6:9) Don’t give up! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">You may not see it now, but what you are <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">doing has eternal value! I’m praying for you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Thank you, my friend! That is exactly the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">reminder and encouragement that I need today!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">(6 MONTHS LATER . . .)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hi, my friend! Thank you for stopping by <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">earlier! It was great to catch up with you! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">It was good to see you too! And it was great to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">see your little guy. He is doing amazing!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Isn’t he just SO sweet! My heart is <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">overflowing with love for this child!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He’s precious! And he is doing great! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">It’s hard to believe he’s the same child <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">you brought home from the hospital!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He has really made some great progress! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He’s getting ready to get his trach out soon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He has “graduated” from several of his therapies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He is finally putting on some weight. And I think <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">he is starting to really heal from some of that <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">early trauma he has experienced. It truly is <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">amazing! And to think we almost missed this!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He’s so lucky to have you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">No, I am the lucky one! Of all the people in <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">the world who could have cared for him, God <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">called our family to this task. It has been SO <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">rewarding to see his transformation, and to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">have the great, great privilege of loving him! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I hope it’s ok that I am contacting you. You <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">don’t know me, but my husband and I saw <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">you at church last weekend and recognized <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">your foster child. We think that he might be <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">my husband’s second cousin. Crazy, right? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We had no idea he was in foster care! We <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">have actually never met him, but we have <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">seen his picture on social media.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Wow! I don’t think this is a coincidence at all! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">He is in foster care in our home. Unbeknownst <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">to either of us, we go to the same church. You <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">happened to see us in a crowded lobby in <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">between services. And you recognized a <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">child you have never met! Is that an amazing <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">God-thing, or what?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Absolutely! I have tears just thinking about it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Hey, when you get a minute, can you give us <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">the name of his social worker?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Sure, I can give you her contact info. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Are you interested in a Kinship Placement? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I don’t know too much about the process, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">but I think it might take a while to get <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">everything approved. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Thank you so much! We don’t know anything <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">at all about the foster care system or how it <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">works. It sort of terrifies me. And anyway, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">my husband has already said no. He doesn’t <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">want this little guy to live with us, because the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">extended family dynamics are so messy and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">complicated. But it never hurts to get more <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">information and ask some questions, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I understand. We have no idea what the future <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">holds for him! But I will ask his social worker <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">if you can meet him and maybe spend time <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">getting to know him. Even if he doesn’t live <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">with you, this time while he is in foster care <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">would be a great opportunity for you to get to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">know him and share God’s love with him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">That would be wonderful!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I look forward to meeting you soon! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">(1 YEAR LATER . . .)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">A quick note to check in with you and see how <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">everyone is adjusting. Is our little guy settling <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">in at your home? Are you holding up ok?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Honestly, I was SO terrified when he came to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">live with us! Never in a million years did I think <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">this placement would actually happen! And I <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">had no idea what we would be getting into! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">But really, he is doing great! We are all <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">adjusting to the transition very well. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">That’s great to hear! I have wondered so many <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">times why God called us to foster him, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">especially since we kept saying no! Well, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">obviously He had a bigger plan than any of us <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">ever could have imagined! He knew that <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">this was part of the process to connect him <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">with you, his forever family!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Words could never express how thankful we <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">are for all you did for him! You suffered <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">alongside him through all of his medical <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">difficulties. You were his first safe place and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">endured dealing with the trauma that came <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">from being taken away from his mother. You <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">endured the really hard stuff. As things begin <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">to finally show permanency and we are certain <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">that he will be with us long term, we will always <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">point him back to the courage and sacrifice you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">gave to him. You were the Lord’s grace to him at<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">a time of his life when he most needed it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">To God be the glory! He is the One who turned <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">a very challenging and exhausting situation <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">into something amazing! He is the One who <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">turned our reluctance into reality. He is the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2f5597; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">One who turned our no into such a beautiful yes!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-76349759278412641662019-05-18T14:34:00.002-04:002019-05-20T08:43:15.347-04:00Who He Was Created to Be<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">After waiting for a few minutes in the waiting room, we hear our name being called and follow the click-clack of the woman’s heels down the hall towards her office. She motions for us to take a seat on the other side of her desk, offering us coffee. Commenting on the weather. Asking if we were able to find a spot in the parking deck across the street without too much trouble. She is obviously trying to be polite and make us feel comfortable, but I am impatient and ready to get down to business. We are here for answers, not small talk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Finally, she sits behind her desk and hands us a thick stack of papers, neatly bound together with a large binder clip. It my first hint that this meeting is not going to be quick. Or that the news inside these documents is not going to be good. I had been secretly hoping that she would give us a single sheet of paper, one that said something simple like, <i>Your child’s test scores all came back in the “normal” range, and you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Have a nice day!</i> But of course my secret hopes were entirely unrealistic. We wouldn’t have requested these evaluations in the first place unless we had suspected that something was seriously wrong. The thick stack of papers is a professional’s report, confirming and articulating in technical terminology what we already know to be true.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">She starts talking about the report, explaining some of the details and diagnoses. You know how, when Charlie Brown’s teacher talks, all you can hear is <i>Wah wah, wah wah, wah wah wah</i> instead of the actual words? That is exactly what this feel like. I can hear this woman’s voice, and I know she is saying actual words, but I am unable to understand any of it through the fog of shock. How can <i>these</i> words be describing <i>our</i> child?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Seeing our child’s weaknesses and struggles right here in black and white, complete with specific codes from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), is sobering and heart-breaking. What parents want to read a document that officially declares that their child is deficient? What parents want to admit that their child is fundamentally flawed? Abnormal? Broken?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Later, in the privacy of my home, when I have had time to process the gravity of the psychologist’s conclusions, I study every word of these documents. I highlight diagnoses and labels. I use sticky-notes to mark important phrases and summaries that I may need to refer back to in the future. I use Google to look up words I do not understand. I make copies of this thick stack of papers for the teachers and therapists and service providers and case managers who have already been a part of my son’s life, and I add this thick stack of papers to the ever-growing pile that documents his journey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For the past ten years of my son’s life, I have been his Warrior Mama. Not only for his complicated health needs, but also for his complicated neuro- developmental needs. I have researched statistics and educational options and possible outcomes. I have hired therapists and tutors, exhausting every available resource. Together we have given my son every opportunity to reach his fullest potential. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And when it became clear that everything we had been doing was still not enough, we requested an evaluation - a formal, intense, 2-day assessment of his cognitive abilities and delays. Seeing the growing stack of paperwork that documents our son’s journey so far, I am terrified by the depth of our son’s brokenness. The thought of him facing this potentially life-long struggle to learn and progress, of the challenges and obstacles that just may be impossible to fix . . . it is too big, too much, too overwhelming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">My deep-seated fear doesn’t quite have a name yet, but the seriousness of his needs fills my heart with unanswerable questions about his future. How will I ever be able to help him succeed? Will he succeed? What if, by following the Special Education track that is specifically designed for students like him, he is unable to graduate from high school and earn his diploma? Will he ever be able to live independently? If not, who will take care of him after my husband and I are gone?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Has God forgotten about my son? Do His promises apply to everyone else’s children? Does He only have plans and purposes for the honor student or for the athlete or for the creative or for the popular or for the entrepreneurial-minded? Of course not!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">On the desk in my office sits a thick stack of binder-clipped paperwork, filled with professional assessments of my son. But that’s not all I have. On the bedside table in my room sits a thick black leather-bound book, filled with God’s promises for my son. And in this book, I read a verse like this: </span><i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)</span></i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> My son is God’s handiwork, and he was specifically created by God to do good works. He has already prepared my son, with all of his complex challenges and differences, for good works. How that truth encourages my heart!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Or verses like this:<i> The</i></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="small-caps"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Lord</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">called me from the womb, </span></i></span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">from the body of my mother He named my name. </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">(</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Isaiah 49:1<i>)</i></span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> He set me apart before I was born, and called me by His grace. (Galatians 1:15)</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> <span style="background-color: white;">Even before my son was born, long before I ever knew him, God, by His grace, had already called him and set him apart. Had already planned to place him in our family, and He already knew his name! Before any of his diagnoses had been identified and labeled, even before I knew he would struggle, God already knew.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. (Philippians 2:13)</span></i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> It is God at work in my son, in his heart and in his life, and yes, even in his neuro-diversity. (Oh, how I love that word: neuro-diversity!) He knows how my son is wired. How is brain works and where he struggles. He knows what it will take to reach him. To transform him into the young man that he was created to be. His purposes for my son are, what? Hardship and struggle and shame? No, His purposes for my son are <i>good</i>! </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">There is no label by human psychologists, therapists, or teachers, licensed though they may be, that can thwart God’s plan for my son’s life. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Oh, how I need to be reminded of that!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All the paths of the</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="small-caps"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Lord</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">are</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">steadfast love and faithfulness. (</span></i></span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Psalm 25:10)</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> Really? ALL the paths? Even the path of neuro-diversity and Special Education? Even the path that sometimes seems dark and discouraging and frustrating and lonely? Even the path of painfully slow progress and frequent setbacks? Yes, all the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness! I cling to that! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">This is definitely not a path I would have chosen for me or my son or our family. But this is the path we are on. And this path is from the Lord. And His steadfast love and faithfulness are on this path with us.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"><i>He</i> is on this path with us, carrying us and sustaining us (Isaiah 46:3-4). Giving us wisdom when don’t know what to do or where to turn for help (Proverbs 2:6) God has not forgotten my son, and He has not forgotten me.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The fear for the future is very deep. These diagnoses and labels, the challenges my son is facing are real and serious and terrifying. But those truths are not the only truths. I have a choice: Do I put my trust in the words of the one who assessed him, or do I put my trust in the words of the One who created him? Do I put my trust in the thick stack of papers filled with diagnoses, or do I put my trust in the black leather-bound book filled with the promises of God?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Every new diagnosis causes new grief. A new process of lamenting and then learning to accept the current path that we are on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Every new setback causes fear, but also a renewed resolve to trust in the purposes and plans that God has for my son’s life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">This thick stack of papers is daunting and completely overwhelming. But it causes a renewed resolve to continue to be his Warrior Mama. To fight for him and advocate for his needs. To “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves” (Proverbs 31:8-9). To hire therapists and tutors and avail ourselves of every possible resource. To give him every opportunity to reach his fullest potential.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Every challenge and struggle causes a renewed resolve to encourage our son. To remind him that God has a plan for his life. To cheer him on! To inspire him to become who he was created to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For as it is written, No eye has seen, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">what God has prepared for those who love Him. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">(1 Corinthians </span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"><i>2:9)</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-34078153208385282192019-05-11T09:55:00.002-04:002019-05-13T20:59:34.014-04:00What They Did Not Know<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">His parents just stand there helplessly, pleading with their son to please, please reconsider. To please make a better, wiser, more sensible choice. His father prays silent, fervent prayers, asking God to give him just the right words to say that would change their son’s mind. His mother tries desperately to hold back the tears, begging God to please let this not be true. How did they get to this point? Where had everything gone so terribly wrong?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">It hadn’t always been like this. They remember, as if were yesterday, the years and years that they had waited and prayed and longed for a child. How they had struggled to remain brave and hopeful as the families all around them seemed to be flourishing and growing, and their own womb remained empty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And then the day, that wonderful day, the happiest day of their life, when God answered their prayers and gave them a beautiful, perfect baby boy. Their son. Oh, how they rejoiced! And their lips praised, again and again, the One who works wonders. And their hearts overflowed with thanksgiving for His goodness and His mercy and for giving them this precious, priceless gift. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">They committed their son fully, completely, wholeheartedly to God. They knelt down before the Lord, falling on their faces to the ground, and pleaded with God to give them wisdom to raise their child. To teach them what to do. To show them the kind of life God wanted their son to have. To use them, despite their inexperience and inadequacies, to prepare this boy for the mission, the grand purpose for which God had created him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Now that God had so generously answered their prayers for a child, they took their parenting role very seriously, and they knew that they would need God’s help every step of the way. They obeyed God completely. They observed every command. They raised their son to be strong and courageous. They taught him God’s word at every opportunity. They modeled for him what it means to live a life with the utmost respect and reverence for God’s holiness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And now? Now their son is grown, independent, old enough to make his own decisions. And his parents are deeply grieved, not only at the foolish choices that he is making, but at the dangerous direction his life is taking. At the angry young man he is becoming. His life is full of fighting, violence, destruction, and revenge. He is reckless and impulsive. He is promiscuous and – they can barely bear the deep shame of it – he actually sleeps with prostitutes! Could this really be the same person that they had dedicated to God all those years ago? It hardly seems possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">He comes to his parents one day and says, <i>Dad. Mom. Guess what? I have found the girl I want to marry. She is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Please be happy for me!</i> They are shocked. And more than that, they are completely devastated. What? This one? A young woman who does not know and love God? A woman who will only lead their beloved son further astray? Further away from them and their faith and everything they believe? Further away from the plans and purposes that God has called him to?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Never have they felt so helpless. They try to talk him out of it, begging him to reconsider. <i>Surely there is another young woman better suited to you? Is there really not one nice girl who is a believer that you might like? Why this one? Why do you have to marry someone whose family and background and lifestyle and beliefs go against everything we have taught you to be right and true? Someone who truly hates us?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But there is no dissuading their son. He insists. <i>This is the one. She is the right one for me.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">In their heartache, in their desperate prayers that seem to go unanswered, his father and mother could not see what the Lord was doing. They do not know that even this, even the foolish and impulsive choices that their son is making, is from the Lord. They have no idea that God is planning, all along, to use their son and his life for a much greater purpose than they possibly could imagine. Even when it seems as if they have failed, as if everything has been in vain, they trust God to the very end. Like other faithful ones throughout history, his parents eventually “die in faith, not having received the promise.” (Hebrews 11:13) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Their death, however, is not the end of the story. Many years later, at just the right time, the Spirit of the Lord begins to stir upon their son, allowing him to accomplish amazing things. He cries out to the Lord, giving Him glory for the victories in his life, thanking Him for giving him strength, calling himself God’s servant. It’s as if all those early, formative years of his parents’ godly influence and teaching and training is finally taking root, sinking deep within his heart, and bearing the sweet fruit that they had so desperately desired.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Unfortunately, though, even though his heart is repentant and filled with new life, there is no escaping the consequences of his violence and worldly passions and promiscuity and foolish decisions. The damage has already been done. It all finally catches up to him, and he finds himself in a dark prison, maimed with permanent, disfiguring scars, humiliated, thoroughly disgraced. Completely alone. His parents' worst nightmare . . . happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">This is the true story of Samson (found in Judges 13-16), but it is also the story of all parents throughout history who have watched their grown child struggle. Who have stood by, helplessly, as their child follows a path of self-destruction, realizing that no matter how hard they try, there is absolutely nothing they can do to rescue their child from anger, addictions, violence, promiscuity, toxic relationships, mental illness, or incarceration. They, like Samson’s parents, wonder how they got to this point and where everything went so terribly wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Thankfully, though, this was not the end of Samson’s story. On what is to be the last day of his life, Samson calls out to the Lord, <i>Please remember me! Please strengthen me! </i> And the Lord, in His sovereignty, in His grace and tender mercy, hears the cries of this broken man. He answers his prayers. He gives Samson the supernatural strength that he is asking for. And in the last moments of his life, Samson, the most unlikeliest of heroes, rescues an entire nation!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Samson’s mother and father, like so many couples who lived before them and would live after them, did not know how, or even if, God was going to answer their prayers for a child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And when that child finally became a part of their family, they did not know, could not possibly predict, the extraordinary plans that God had for that child’s life. They did not know that even from the womb, God already had His hand on their beloved child’s life, and that He was already creating him for a purpose. A beautiful plan that could not be thwarted. They</span><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: 18.66666603088379px;"> did not know that He wasn't just answering the prayers of hopeful parents . . . He was answering the prayers of an entire nation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Maybe they knew, but they could not possibly understand the significance of it, that out of all the people in the world, God chose <i>them </i>to be that child’s parents – the very ones who would help prepare him for those amazing plans. And that in the process, when the results of all their best parenting was not at all what they expected, their faith would be stretched and tested and ultimately strengthened. They did not know that God wasn’t asking them to raise a godly son; He was asking them to be godly parents. To continue believing, hope against hope, that God would accomplish what He had promised to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And later, when it all seemed hopeless and completely impossible, and when they stood there helplessly, unable to prevent their son from his path of self-destruction, they did not know how God was going to rescue him. How God was going to reach into the darkest, most desperate situation, and somehow, miraculously, use it for His glory. They did not know that even when their fervent prayers for their wayward son seemed to go unanswered, God was at work in the hidden places, answering those prayers in ways that they might never live to see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The son did not know. His parents did not know. The entire nation did not know. But all along, God knew. He knew what He was doing. He was fulfilling His plan. Keeping His promises. He knew what no one else did . . . that no person is too flawed, no life too broken, no situation too hopeless, that He cannot redeem and restore. That there is not one person who is beyond the powerful plans that God has in store. God knew that He could use this man and his life for a much greater purpose than anyone ever could have imagined.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As they watched their son struggle through life, there was a lot of things his parents did not know. But they were learning. They were learning what it means to believe. And they were learning that with God, anything is possible.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-75436948944844311922019-03-01T11:54:00.001-05:002019-03-01T11:57:09.132-05:00When God Calls You to the Impossible<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">You look at the path ahead, the journey that God has called you to, and you can barely comprehend the enormity of what you are facing. The obstacles are immense. The challenges, unimaginable. The destination, thoroughly unobtainable. You think, <i>No way, God! I can’t do this. This path you have called me to? It is insane. It is impossible!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">This is not the path you wanted. Well, not exactly. You love God, of course. With all your heart you love God, and throughout the years that you have walked with Him, you have been blessed in so many ways. Back in the day, you even had the great privilege of witnessing the amazing miracles that only He could do. Oh, the stories you could tell of His faithfulness and power and goodness!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But this? This isn’t exactly what you signed up for. You thought by now, now that you are this far down the path, that the journey would be getting easier, not harder! And certainly not impossible! You start to doubt, thinking, maybe you misunderstood what He is asking you to do. Perhaps you took a wrong turn somewhere along the journey, and if you could just find your way back to the right path, the one He must have intended for you to take, then everything will work out. Then you can breathe easy again. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But no. There is no other path. There is no way around it. This is the place He has led you to. This is the journey forward He is asking you to take. This is the impossible He is calling you to. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">You say in your heart, <i>This is impossible! How can I do this? </i> And He says to your heart, <i>Remember!</i> You cannot go back, but you can <i>look </i>back. Look what He has already done, not only for you, but for countless believers before you! Remember? Remember the times before when you were in distress, when you cried out to Him? He heard you. Remember when you were bound with chains, utterly helpless, stuck in desperation and unrelenting pain? When there was absolutely no way out? With a mighty hand, He brought you out and He rescued you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Remember that season of isolation and obscurity, when you did not know where you were going, when you had no direction and nothing seemed to be happening? That season when it seemed like God was silent and no matter how hard you tried to find meaning, it just seemed as if this long journey was completely futile and pointless? The whole way, every step of that time in that wilderness, the Lord your God was leading you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Remember when you were hungry? He fed you. Through His loving providence and infinite provision, not once have you lacked what you needed. Not once did He fail to sustain you. Sometimes He did this in miraculous ways, sometimes in mundane and ordinary ways, but always, always, He satisfied and provided for your every need. Not once did He forget to take care of you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">During that endless wandering, that season of seeming insignificance, God was doing some of His greatest work in you! When you look back and remember, you can see how He humbled you and tested you. Why? Because He is mean? Because He was unaware of what you needed? No! It was not to harm you, but to do you <i>good</i>.<b><sup></sup></b> To make you fully aware at every moment that it wasn’t about your own power and might and hard work. He wanted you to learn, in a very personal way, that He, not you or your abilities or your competence or your resourcefulness, but that He alone is all You need. He wanted you to understand that His promises are not just ancient words written long ago, but that His promises are real and personal. They were written for you, to encourage you. They are the very words that will bring you life and hope. Oh, how your faith has been strengthened and renewed as you have seen first-hand how He has faithfully fulfilled every one of His promises!<b><sup><o:p></o:p></sup></b></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Looking back, remembering what God has done, will help you believe once more. You can believe that the same God who broke chains, who delivered you, who sustained you and provided for you, the same God who did the miraculous in the past, is the same God who can do it again. </span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And when you look at the impossible before you, and when you ask, <i>How can I do this? </i> He declares over you,<i>You shall not be afraid!</i> There is no reason to fear the impossible, because the</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> <span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;"></span></span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Lord</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">your God is</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">with you. Not once has He left you or abandoned you or forgotten you, and He is not going to leave you or abandon you or forget you now. And this God? He is</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">a great and awesome God!</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">He is infinitely stronger and more powerful than all the impossible things you are afraid of. He promises that nothing, absolutely nothing, will be able to stand against you until you have accomplished what He has called you to do.</span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When God calls you to the impossible, He is not asking you to be strong enough and brave enough or have enough confidence. To believe in yourself. He promises that <i>He </i>will clear away the obstacles before you. Those impossible challenges that are more numerous and mighty than you? He will go before you. Just breathe in the most beautiful words you may ever hear: He will fight for you. And <i>that </i>is how you will be victorious. That is how you will defeat the impossible.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text" style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Why? When you stand here in fear, facing a terrifying unknown, when your faith is shaking and you can’t find a single ounce of courage, why would He fight for you? Why wouldn’t He choose someone else, someone who is braver or stronger or has more confidence. Why would He call <i>you?</i> Because you are holy to the</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> <span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;"></span></span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Lord. Out of all the people who are on the face of the earth, He has chosen <i>you</i> for His treasured possession. He has set His love on you and has chosen you. It was not because you are more deserving than any other people. In fact, you are right - you are the least of all people. Quite simply, He chose you because He loves you.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Believe. Believe that He is the</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> <span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal;"></span></span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Lord</span></span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">your God,</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">the faithful God</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">who keeps every one of His promises. He keeps His steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, not just to you but to your children and to a thousand generations after you. He sees your doubts and fears and insecurities. But more importantly, He sees your faith. Wavering faith, maybe. Weak, hanging on by a thread faith, at times. But ultimately a steadfast faith. And because of your steadfast faith, He promises to love you, and to bless you, and to multiply you. He promises to bless your children and your work in all that He promised to give you. </span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">He promises to heal you of all your brokenness and pain.</span> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Move forward, not in fear, but in confidence. Confidence that He has led you on this journey, to this very path at this very time. Move forward into the promises that He has made to you. He rescued you from the darkness, He led you through the wilderness, and He is fully able to lead you into a good place, a land of refreshment and abundance. A place in which you will lack nothing. <b><sup></sup></b>On the other side of the impossible, when you have finally received all He has promised to give you, how your heart will be full, overflowing with gratitude to the Lord your God for leading you there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">What do you do when God calls you to the impossible? Don’t deny it. It’s true. It <i>is </i>impossible! The obstacles are indeed too big, too overwhelming, too much for you to face. However, the Lord does not want you to look at the impossible. He wants you to look at Him! Look at how He has sustained you and provided for you in the past. Surely, He will do it again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Now is not the time to quit. Now is the time to believe! Believe, not in your own ability to do the impossible, but in <i>His </i>ability to do the impossible. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As you go down this path, know that He has already promised that you will be victorious.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Before you lift your sword, know that the great and awesome God is in your midst, right here with you, fighting for you.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Before you take the first step to face the impossible - the difficult situations and overwhelming challenges and terrifying unknowns – before you go there, know this. Remember this. Believe this. The impossible has already been defeated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-1793686533106040712019-02-12T17:46:00.004-05:002019-02-12T22:35:47.444-05:00Are We Willing?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">“We will adopt your baby!” We have seen the posts and read the comments. We have seen the pictures of individuals and couples holding signs with this printed message, standing outside the clinics and at the pro-life rallies. And while this is a well-meaning response to the recent abortion legislation and subsequent media attention, is offering to adopt her baby the right answer? The intent is good! Big-hearted and noble even! But offering to adopt her baby is an overly simplistic answer to a complex and much deeper issue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">The offer itself, if anyone chooses to be so brave, will need to be an offer that is made unconditionally. It is an offer that cannot be made with any exceptions. Not a single “if.“ Offering to adopt a child who has not yet been born is a serious consideration, a game-changing decision that could significantly affect us and the other members of our family for the rest of our lives! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Can we honestly say that we would be willing to adopt a baby with a different ethnicity than our own? One with special needs or who may be born with serious birth defects? One whose birthmother has AIDS or other communicable diseases? A baby who has already been exposed to dangerous substances that most assuredly has negatively impacted his or her brain development? If we are unable or unwilling to adopt a child with no questions asked, then perhaps we should not be offering at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Please hear me . . . I am not saying that a baby with significant special needs is ever a valid reason to have an abortion! Not at all! But if we ourselves are unwilling or unable to raise a child with significant special needs, perhaps we should not be so quick to criticize the expectant mother who is unwilling or unable to do so either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">And let’s take a step back for a moment, so we can look at the bigger picture. While offering to adopt her baby – unconditionally and without exceptions - is certainly a valid alternative to abortion, adoption is not the only alternative.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Nor is adoption necessarily the <i>best</i> alternative.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Adoption can be a beautiful thing, a moment when an orphaned child and a loving family find each other, joining their hearts together for the rest of their lives.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Many of us have a story that includes adoption, and we are so, so thankful that it does!<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">But adoption only tells half of the story. What we often miss is that adoption is, or at least should be, the last resort. Adoption is the solution for when all other options have failed. If our response to abortion is to stand up and say, “We will adopt your baby!” we are inadvertently skipping to the last resort. And when we do so, we miss entirely the other piece of the equation. We completely overlook the mother who is carrying the baby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">It’s easy to vilify her. To shame her and the decision that she is struggling to make. Because if she’s the villain, then we get to be the hero. We want to rush in and rescue an unwanted baby. Please hear me . . . wanting to rescue an unwanted baby is not necessarily wrong. It’s a very good goal! However, we first need to ask ourselves another question. Are we, the ones who are willing to rescue a child, also willing to rescue a mother? We may be willing to open our hands and our hearts and our homes with love for a child. Are we also willing to open our hands and our hearts and our homes with love for the mother of that child?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Sure, there are mothers whose “hearts are bent on evil” (Isaiah 32:6). The ones who are “self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil” (Romans 2:8). For an abortion-minded mother whose heart is hardened, offering to adopt her baby will most likely not persuade her to change her mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">But honestly, we don’t know the heart of every mother who is considering an abortion.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>We don’t know her story. <span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>We don’t know her reasons or the circumstances that have led her to this point.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>The obstacles in her life that seem insurmountable and impossible. <span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Maybe she is considering an abortion, not because she is evil and hardened, but because she is lost and afraid.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Perhaps she is considering an abortion, not because her baby is unwanted, but because she doesn’t see any other options. <span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>What if she knew that there was a community of people, not standing in judgement of her, not even a community of people offering to love her baby, but a community of people offering to love <i>her</i>?<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Maybe she doesn’t need someone to adopt her baby. Maybe she needs someone to be her friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Are we, the same people who would be willing to spend thousands of dollars to adopt a baby, also willing to financially support the mother of that baby? What if we would offer, not to adopt her baby, but to help her pay for prenatal care, maternity clothes, safe housing, an education, parenting classes, counseling, transportation. If poverty and lack of resources is her reason for considering an abortion, perhaps having access to those necessary resources would make all the difference.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">We would not hesitate to hire a qualified attorney to oversee the details of our adoption. Some of us are even in a position to promote legislative change, to be a voice for orphaned and vulnerable children. Would we do the same for a mother who needs legal aid, or for a mother who needs someone to be her voice for updated, more equitable laws? Perhaps she has a criminal history that disqualifies her from receiving public assistance. (1) Perhaps she needs legal counsel with immigration issues, domestic violence and restraining orders, custody disputes, child welfare involvement with her other children. If we would seek legal services for ourselves, for our own family, shouldn’t we be willing to do the same for her?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">We would be willing to devote our time – many years, even! – to a child that we adopt into our family. Would we be willing to devote even a fraction of our time to the mother of that child? To offer, not to adopt her child, but to babysit her child while she finishes school or goes to work to provide for her family? Would we be willing to spend even a few hours a week, mentoring and investing in her life, helping her to become the very best mother that she can possibly be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Perhaps she is being pressured, threatened even, to terminate her pregnancy by her parents or her boyfriend. <span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>And if she doesn’t agree, she will not be allowed to stay.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Facing an unplanned pregnancy is frightening enough.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Now she is facing the very real possibility of being pregnant <i>and</i> homeless!<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>Perhaps going to a home for women with unplanned pregnancies is not an option because she is too old, too young, is married or has other children.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>If we would be willing to open our homes, finding room for her child . . . shouldn’t we be willing to do the same for her? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">This is scary stuff! Being willing to get involved in a birth mother’s life is risky. It could be very messy and uncomfortable and complicated. We have no idea what we might be getting ourselves and our family into! But then again, is adoption any less risky? Welcoming a baby into our home can be every bit as messy and uncomfortable and complicated. If we are willing to push past the fear of the unknowns for a baby, shouldn’t we be willing to do the same for the baby’s mother? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">And taking a step back even further, looking at an even bigger picture . . what about the mother’s heart? When we offer to adopt her baby, or even offer to help her or support her during her time of need, we are doing a good thing, for sure. But we are only offering her a temporal solution. We may be solving an immediate need, possibly saving the life of her unborn baby. But in doing so, we are doing nothing to solve her deeper, significantly more important spiritual need. We may be unintentionally forgetting the most basic and loving way that we can love her: by addressing her need for the saving power and grace of Jesus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Shouldn’t we be addressing the brokenness of her life and the sinful choices – hers and others - that have led her to this point? Shouldn’t we be showing her, at every opportunity, the love of Christ? Telling her about the forgiveness and new life that can be found in Him? Showing her that in the middle a dark and frightening and seemingly hopeless situation, where to find hope? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Imagine that she is on a runaway train, speeding headlong towards the end of the line, destined for a fiery, deadly, devastating train wreck. She is sitting on that train, stooped under the terrible weight of her backpack, unaware of where she is heading. As she looks out the window of the train, she sees someone holding a sign that says, “I will carry your backpack for you.” Wonderful! What a huge relief that would be for her! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">There are others who are willing to board the train with her, bringing her a tall glass of iced tea and fluffing the cushions on the passenger seat, making sure she has everything she needs. Great! She will certainly be more comfortable, and her burden will be relieved for the moment. However, her greatest need is not to be more comfortable. Her greatest need is for that train to be on a different track! A track that, instead of heading for destruction, is heading for a beautiful and glorious destination!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">There were approximately 600,000 abortions in America in 2015. (2) A huge, incomprehensible number! However, at the same time, there are an estimated 245 million professing Christians in America. (3) If even a fraction of those professing Christians were to get involved, who knows what difference it might make?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Yes, some of us are called to go and adopt. To make that offer unconditionally and without exception. The abortion-vulnerable mothers need to see those open and loving hearts! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">And some of us are called to go and support. To help and come alongside and befriend and love. What an encouragement for those mothers to experience those open and generous hands!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Those are noble and worthy callings! We are indeed called to take every opportunity to do good (Galatians 6:10). To love, not only with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth (1 John 3:18) We don’t know her story, her reasons or the circumstances that have led her to this point. How can we know unless we ask? And how can we ask unless we go? Unless we are willing to invest in a personal, one-on-one relationship with her?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">But if the <i>only</i> thing we are doing is offering to adopt, we are skipping to the last resort.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>And if the <i>only</i> thing we are doing is helping and supporting and encouraging, we are missing the most important thing.<span style="font-style: normal;"> (4) </span>We are losing sight of the one thing we are called to do, the one thing we can never overlook:<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>our commission to “Go, therefore, and make disciples” (Matthew 28:19). To share the Good News that Jesus came to live the life that we could never live, and to die the death that we deserve.<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>He came so that we might be rescued!<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>(5)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">Are we willing to open our hands and our hearts and our homes with love, not only for a child, but for the mother of that child?<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span>What if she knew that there was a community of people, not standing in judgement of her, not even a community of people offering to love her baby, but a community of people offering to love <i>her</i>? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">We are willing, eager even, to save lives and rescue babies. Are we equally willing and eager to save families and rescue souls?</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">“Individuals committing a federal controlled substance felony are permanently disqualified from Food and Nutrition Services.” </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">www2.ncdhhs.gov/info/olm/manuals/dss/ei-30/man/FSs290.htm<br /><br />“</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Public Housing Agencies are authorized to obtain and use the criminal records to screen applicants for admission to public housing and housing choice voucher programs, and for lease enforcement or eviction of families residing in public housing or receiving housing assistance.” <a href="http://www.hud.gov/sites/documents/DOC_11330.PDF" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;">www.hud.gov/sites/documents/DOC_11330.PDF</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/abortion.htm" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;">www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/abortion.htm</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/11/14/if-the-u-s-had-100-people-charting-americans-religious-affiliations/" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;">www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/11/14/if-the-u-s-had-100-people-charting-americans-religious-affiliations/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Many “Christian” pro-life groups and unplanned pregnancy centers fail to unashamedly share the Gospel with the women they serve. They may be doing good work and they may be saving babies’ lives, but they are missing the point. They are essentially helping mothers to be more comfortable while sitting on a the proverbial train that is headed for destruction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">5.<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Patte Smith, who has been reaching mothers at the abortion clinics for decades, would love for you to join her and her ministry! They need caring and humble men and women who are willing to commit to joining them weekly, for 6 consecutive weeks to be trained to humbly and assertively share the Gospel. There are plenty of opportunities to follow up and be a godly friend to mommas and daddies throughout pregnancy and beyond. If you are willing to “go and make disciples,” please contact Patte at <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null">pattesmith@gmail.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><br /></a></span></div>
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</style>Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-16826466276726856432019-01-05T09:24:00.000-05:002019-01-11T16:17:05.423-05:00The Silent Ones<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pER5WaD8GJY/XDC87sihZqI/AAAAAAAABD8/AAG_k5-7i4IWr5tcYHMI14jvukT4YrTgQCLcBGAs/s1600/74324034-girl-friendship-united-hands-of-young-females-stylish-girlfriends-in-boho-hippie-bracelets-near-bicy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="450" height="266" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pER5WaD8GJY/XDC87sihZqI/AAAAAAAABD8/AAG_k5-7i4IWr5tcYHMI14jvukT4YrTgQCLcBGAs/s400/74324034-girl-friendship-united-hands-of-young-females-stylish-girlfriends-in-boho-hippie-bracelets-near-bicy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are a community of mothers who love our children powerfully and passionately. Who want and dream and envision only the best for them and their future. And together, when we see first-hand how difficult this job of parenting can sometimes be, we stick together. We are a tribe of warrior mamas who defend each other in the fiercest battles. Sisters who support one another with practical resources during the most difficult seasons. Kindred spirits who refuse to let another one fall. We encourage one another, as often as necessary, to keep pressing on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Some of us have children with chronic or life-threatening health issues. The ones whose children are facing such a terrifying medical diagnosis, that we know, intuitively, that there is no way we can do this by ourselves. And when we openly ask our community of mothers for help, the response is almost always immediate and powerful. Neighbors bring meals. Church leaders and family members gather to pray. Friends wear the special t-shirt that symbolizes their esprit de corps . . . their camaraderie. Mothers who are further along in the journey, those of us who have traveled this way before, share our experiences and hard-earned wisdom, extending a hand up to those of us who are just starting out. We are reminded in so many ways that we are not alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Some of us call ourselves the lucky ones, the mamas of children with genetic disorders or developmental delays or heart defects. The ones who have the incomparable privilege of watching God’s plan unfold in unexpected and miraculous ways. (1)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Some of us have intentionally chosen the hard and rocky path. We have stepped into the brokenness of foster care and adoption, opening our arms and our homes to welcome children who have been traumatized, neglected, abused, forgotten. Children with immense emotional and behavioral challenges that wreak havoc in our families. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">At the beginning, we were excited about where this journey would take us, knowing that we, too, were the lucky ones. We just knew that we would have the incomparable privilege of watching God’s plan unfold in unexpected and miraculous ways. But now, years later, our blog posts have become fewer and fewer. Our posts and pictures on social media are pretty much non-existent. Once upon a time we were the most vocal, the most passionate, the biggest advocates for orphaned and vulnerable children! But now? Now we have become the silent ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are the ones who lie awake at night, wondering how to address the stealing, the lying, the disrespect, the defiance. Wondering how we can possibly connect with our broken children and reach their hearts. We live each day, each moment, with chaos and unpredictability. One minute we are all in the kitchen, laughing and getting ready for dinner, and the next minute . . . a trivial comment, a playful look, a perceived insult. We witness our children’s transformation into aggression, an outrage so violent that they leave holes in our walls, bruises on our arms, the echoes of ugly cuss words hanging in the air. (2) We are left with broken lamps and bedding that has been ripped into shreds. We have other children, the innocent bystanders, who know, without anyone telling them, when they need to go to a safe space until the storm subsides. (3) And we wonder, <i>what just happened?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">When our children believe that food is their enemy, we watch them waste away to a dangerously low weight. When their deep brokenness hurts beyond their ability to bear, we are the ones who notice the crisscrossed lines that disfigure their arms and legs, visible expressions of their desire to harm themselves. To feel something, anything, other than the pain that torments their heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are the ones who find their notes, the texts, the Instagram posts, the journal entries – all filled with dark words of hopelessness and despair. There are some mornings when the dark clouds of depression or the paralyzing weight of anxiety descend so powerfully over them, that they are unable to get out of bed or leave their bedroom. And there are some mornings we fear opening their bedroom door at all, not knowing what we will find. And we have no idea how to help them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Our life is full and overflowing with professionals who know our first names . . . social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, school principals, guidance counselors, youth pastors. As a last resort, when the chaos escalates to a point of no return, when the safety of our child and everyone in our home is in jeopardy, we are ones who pick up the phone and call the police. The ones who stand there helplessly, devastated, while our child is taken away to a psychiatric hospital or long-term residential facility. No one will ever see <i>that </i>on the list for Wednesday night’s prayer meeting! <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are the mamas who are horrified to see our sweet babies, now all grown up, become bound by the heavy chains of addiction, sexual promiscuity, unplanned pregnancies, homelessness, incarceration, abusive relationships, incredibly dangerous and self-destructive choices . . . returning to the very streets, the very lifestyles that we had hoped, by adopting them, that they would be rescued from. Some of us have not seen our grown children for months, years even, and do not know where they are. Or if we will ever see them again. Or if they are still alive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Unlike those of us who are frightened by our child's physical illness or injury. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Unlike those of us who are grieving our child's life-threatening diagnosis. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Unlike those of us who are weary, caring for our child with the genetic disorder or the developmental delays or the visible disabilities.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are the mamas who say nothing. No updates to friends and family. No pleas for help. No requests for prayer. No appeal for encouragement or wisdom. No special t-shirt that symbolizes solidarity. (4) No, we are the silent ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Why do we retreat into our private space? Perhaps because we want to protect our child’s reputation. (5) Or maybe it’s because we can’t imagine how anyone else could possibly understand the challenges we are facing. Even if such a thing existed, who wants to be a member of the <i>My Child has a Mental Illness! </i>club?! (6) If we say something, if we even hint at how insanely difficult this is, what will be people say? After all, this is the path we chose!! (7)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Or it could be that we are filled with shame that we have failed. Crashed and burned. Once upon a time we had been so optimistic. Our heart’s desire has always been to obey God’s command to care for the orphans. To open our home to a child in need. To make a difference in his or her life. But clearly, despite our best efforts and our excellent intentions, we did <i>not </i>make a difference. Not one bit of difference at all. Clearly our very best parenting abilities have proven to be woefully inadequate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Most likely, though, we don’t speak because we simply can’t. We have no words. When we feel like we are drowning, when the water is so deep and we are in way over our heads, we are no longer able to utter the one word that could possibly save us: <i>Help!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">It is here, in our silence, when we retreat into our private space, that we face our brokenness, our most desperate, most powerless season, completely isolated and alone. We bear the weight of an impossible burden, all by ourselves.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is tragic! We need to be reminded that we are not forsaken. Despite how solitary and desolate we may feel, we have not been abandoned! We are a community of mothers. A tribe of warrior mamas. Sisters. Kindred spirits. Right on the other side of the email, on the other side of the text, on the other side of the smiling face on social media. Right in the next pew. Right on the other side of the proverbial backyard fence are those of us who are on a similar journey. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">And there are those of us who are further along on the journey, and as unbelievable as it may seem, we have survived through it. Those of us who have made it safely to the other side and are somehow able to still breathe, to lift our heads and to tell the story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Tell the story we must! We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the <i>word </i>of our testimony (Revelations 12:11). By speaking. By telling the story of God’s faithfulness and goodness and never-ending, never-tiring, never diminishing love. By describing the times when we were brokenhearted beyond enduring, and how the Lord kept his promise to be close to us. (Psalm 34:18)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We encourage each other, reminding each other that this is not our fault. When Jesus saw the man who was blind from birth, the disciples wanted to know. We are all tempted to ask the same question: <i>Who sinned, this man or his parents? </i> Whose fault is it? Is it our fault? It is our children’s fault? Is it because of their birthparents or the broken system or the lack of resources or not enough research or our friends who don’t understand or the apathy of the church? What if it isn’t anyone’s fault? Can we just breathe in Jesus’ answer, soaking in the truth of it: <i>This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.</i>(John 9:1-3)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We need to remind each other to believe. To believe, again and again, that nothing, not even the most impossible, is too difficult for Him! (Matthew 17:20) Instead of becoming hopelessly paralyzed with fear in the middle of difficult, insurmountable circumstances, we need to be courageous. Excited, even! When there is absolutely nothing we or anyone else can do in the middle of an impossible situation, it just may mean that God is getting ready to do what only God can do. It just may mean that the miraculous is about to happen! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">And when the impossible does happen, when our children’s lives are transformed, when God takes what is broken and makes something truly beautiful, it will be only God who receives all the glory for it! It will be His works on full display! Oh, how our hearts will overflow with praise! We will then proclaim His righteous deed, His alone! (Psalm 71:16)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Why would we be silent about that?! </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are a community of mothers. A tribe, sisters, kindred spirits. We are the ones who pray, the ones who come alongside and support and help. The ones who are all on this journey together, encouraging one another to press on. To never stop loving. (8) And yes, we are the ones who are singing His praises together! Celebrating what only He can do! <i>To God be the glory, great things He hath done!!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are just regular mamas. Jars of clay. We are hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down. We are the brokenhearted ones. The wounded ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">But that is only half of the story. We can say, with confidence, <i>We are not crushed! We do not despair! We are not abandoned! We are not destroyed! (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)</i> No, we hold within our little jars of clay, within our simple, ordinary lives, a treasure. God’s power on display! We are the ones who </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">have the incomparable privilege of watching God’s plan unfold in unexpected and miraculous ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">We are the brave ones. The lucky ones. The chosen ones. The believing ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Let us never be the silent ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><u><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">The Lucky Few </span></u><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">by Heather Avis<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">It has a name! In the year 2015/16, there were over 10,000 cases of Child to Parent Violence (CPV) reported in the UK. The UK has recently drafted a new bill to address domestic violence, and for the first time in history, specifically includes CPV. <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/dec/09/what-happens-when-your-child-becomes-violent-with-you" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: black;">www.theguardian.com/society/2018/dec/09/what-happens-when-your-child-becomes-violent-with-you</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is what one of our many storms has looked like. <a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-storm.html" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: black;">https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-storm.html</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Perhaps, when a brave mama steps into the frightening, messy, unknown world of orphan care, we could give her, as a symbol, a Friendship Bracelet. This will remind her, and all of us who wear them, that we are not alone.<br /><br />In fact, my two best friends and I each have a bullet cartridge that we wear on a necklace, an ever-present reminder that we are Warrior Mamas, fighting together in a battle that has already been won.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Of course we should protect our children’s reputation. It is their story to tell, not ours. But that doesn’t mean we should retreat, isolated and alone. We have our own story to tell! And a community of mamas that need to hear it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Children’s exposure to traumatic events can have long-term effects on their physical and mental development, known as Complex Trauma. These children are often diagnosed with <span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), sensory processing disorder, ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, bi-polar, personality disorders, PTSD, cognitive impairment, learning disabilities, and more! </span> <a href="http://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/complex-trauma" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: black;">www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/complex-trauma</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i></span><!--[endif]--><span class="text"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 14pt;">Yes, this is the life we chose, but that doesn’t mean we should be forced to walk it alone. <i><a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2016/02/say-word.html" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: black;">https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2016/02/say-word.html</span></a><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i></span><!--[endif]--><span class="text"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 14pt;">When there is not one thing we can do to rescue our child, we can still love. Love never fails!! <i><a href="http://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2017/07/love-never-fails.html" style="color: #954f72; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: black;">http://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2017/07/love-never-fails.html</span></a><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-87623036028075167452018-12-31T12:20:00.000-05:002019-01-01T08:46:13.461-05:00Time for a Change<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">Over time, </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">will always gravitate towards entropy, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">or gradual decline into disorder. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial";">– 2<sup>nd</sup>Law of Thermodynamics</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">It’s that time of year again . . . the time when I look around and wonder how my home could have possibly gravitated towards such disorder. The messes in every corner of every room, the piles of things that I don’t know what to do with, the items I <i>do</i> need but can’t seem to find anywhere. I decide, here and now, that one of the priorities in the New Year will be to de-clutter. To bring some sort of order to this chaos. It is definitely time for a change! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">The entropy, the decline into clutter, did not happen overnight, which means that it will not be tackled overnight either. This kind of decluttering project cannot be completed in a day. Or even a week. It will take time. There may be seasons when it gets overwhelming, the task before me much too big. But little by little, bit by bit, I will rejoice in the moments of progress. I will focus, unwavering and resolute on my goal of peace and order and, dare I say, <i>joy </i>in my physical spaces. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">This is even more true for my mental spaces. I wonder how my mind could have possibly gravitated towards such disorder. The regrets and grief of yesterday’s failures, the anxiety of all of tomorrow’s unknowns, the ideas and dreams that I <i>do</i> want to focus on but my mind won’t rest long enough. I decide, here and now, that one of the priorities in the New Year will be to de-clutter my mind. To bring some sort of order to the chaotic thoughts. It is definitely time for a change!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Nearly seven months ago I wrote a blog post called <a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2018/06/when-youre-drowning.html" style="color: #954f72;">When You’re Drowning</a>. The very next day – literally less than 24 hours later – I drowned. Or at least, it certainly felt that way. Our family experienced a devastating blow that nearly destroyed me, a jolt that caused us, indirectly, to decide to end our foster care journey of 23 years. Maybe some day I will be able to tell the whole story, but suffice it to say that the circumstances were so heart-breaking and tragic, so completely life-changing, that I was overwhelmed with grief and loss, dangerously stuck in despair, utterly without hope. For the next six months, I lived in a sort of dark cloud, a fog that hung heavy all around me, and I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it. I am just now coming up for air, finding my feet again, coughing and sputtering on the other side. But even so, nothing will ever again be the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">If I ever hope to move forward, if I am ever going to be find my mental equilibrium, I need to declutter all those awful thoughts that have kept me paralyzed. And if I’m going to tackle this inner project of mine, I need to be ruthless. Tidying expert Marie Kondo says, “There are two reasons we can’t let go: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.” If this is true in our physical spaces, it is equally true in our mental spaces. Sometimes, it’s just hard to let go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">So what am I holding on to? What is the attachment to the past that is so difficult for me to let go? Mostly, I am feeling the loss of a significant part of my identity, the foster mama part, which is now gone. Eric Liddell, an Olympic gold-medalist in the 1924 Olympics, famously said, “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” I can so relate to his sentiment! For almost half of my life, I have been a foster parent. I answered God’s call to care for the most fragile, the most vulnerable, the most forgotten children in our community. And when I was caring for them, rocking them to sleep, nurturing them to health and wholeness, there was nothing else I would rather be doing. I felt as if I was running the race that He had set before me, and I could feel His pleasure. With the loss of that role, with the loss of that calling, I feel, in a sense, the loss of His pleasure. The loss of purpose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">There are the choices that led us down a road that there is no going back from, and that now have life-long consequences for our “forever” kids. After all, when our family chose to embrace the broken, we knew that there was a good chance that we, including our own children, would inevitably <a href="https://psalm1139mama.blogspot.com/2018/02/bleed.html" style="color: #954f72;">bleed</a>. There are no do-overs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">You know how, sometimes, you cry over a single detail, a seemingly isolated event, and then you end up crying buckets over everything else? It’s like, once the dam bursts, there’s no holding back the water. Grief can be cumulative like that. After saying goodbye to over 70 children who were such an integral part of our family, I now feel the cumulative grief. If little pieces of my heart kept breaking off each time a child left, how could that not eventually have a deep, irreparable impact on me? How can I ever be the same?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">And when I look close enough, I find that I am holding onto the deep hurts and disappointments caused by people who don’t understand the unique struggles that our family has faced. The ones who don’t understand what it is like to raise someone else’s broken child. Foster parenting can be, if nothing else, a very lonely, a very isolating ministry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">So many attachments to the past that I am hanging onto! I have trouble letting go of them, I think, because letting go would mean admitting failure. My life, my relationships, my family, and the future I envisioned doesn’t look like I thought it would, and there is nothing I can do to change it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">However, in order to move forward, I need to leave the past in the past. There is no reason to hang on to the what-if’s or what-might-have-been’s. <i>Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past; See, I am doing a new thing! I am making away in the desert and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:18-19) </i>The loss, the grief, the choices, the hurts . . . they are in the past, and I cannot dwell on them. It’s time to let go of them, to discard them and no longer allow them to have such a prominent and powerful place in my mind. It’s time to move forward and look to the future. To look forward to the “new thing” that God has promised to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">And in order to look forward, I first need to forget what is behind. </span><i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">press</span></i><i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">on</span></i><i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me.</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">(Philippians 3:13)</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> Somehow, by God’s grace and with His help, I need to forget what is behind me so that I can press on towards what is ahead. Towards the goal to which God has called me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Looking to the future, however, is always accompanied by fear of all the unknowns. Many times in the past I have worried about things that never ended up happening. But not always. Now I know that sometimes terrible things, traumatic experiences, life-changing events – my worst nightmares! - <i>can </i>happen! So now I am tempted to live in fear. What if it happens again? Or next time, what if it is even worse? This time I <i>almost </i>drowned. What if next time, I really <i>do </i>drown? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">What if God leads me to a place where I don’t want to go? To a challenge that is too difficult for me to face? To a task that is too hard for me to successfully accomplish? Or, what if He doesn’t lead me anywhere at all? What if I am left on the sideline, my usefulness, my life of ministry, over. The future, in any of it’s what-if scenarios, seems so impossible and bleak and frightening!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">What do I do when these kinds of thoughts are racing and refuse to land? When I am feeling overwhelmed with the chaos and “clutter” of unarticulated fears, unrealized dreams, and unfinished goals? When I feel like I am drowning? It is then that I need to focus on the task at hand: resolving to discard the endless anxieties that help no one. At the first hint of “This is all too overwhelming!” or “I am such a failure” or the ever-present, “I can’t do this!” I need to let it go. Discard it. Those kinds of unnecessary thoughts will only lead to dark places, a discouragement that is too heavy to bear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">I need to remember that God <i>has </i>called me to a purpose, and that His plans for me are good. Yes, good! As my pastor J.D. Greear reminds us often, “In Christ there is nothing I can do that would make Him love me more, and nothing I have done that makes Him love me less.” I may have <i>felt </i>His pleasure when I was actively caring for the precious foster children in my home, but He didn’t <i>actually </i>love me more because of my service. And now that I am no longer in that specific role, now that I am grieving and facing the regret of past failures and the uncertainties of the future, He does not love me any less. Nothing – no calling or role or mistakes or decisions or hurts – can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. <i>These </i>are the thoughts I need to keep. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">And honestly? I may indeed face insurmountable circumstances again. My worst fears might actually happen. However, instead of dreading what could happen tomorrow, I can choose, today, to believe that God is with me: <i>Do not be afraid . . . when you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. . . because you are precious to me, and I love you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. (Isaiah 43:1-5)</i> I may indeed face deep heartache and tragedies again in the future. I may indeed feel like I am way over my head and I can’t possibly survive. But I will choose to believe that, even in the deepest of waters, God is with me and He will not let me drown. <i>These </i>are the thoughts I need to keep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Marie Kondo, the same tidying expert I mentioned before, has coined a phrase, sage advice to those who want to declutter their homes:</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">”Put your hands on everything you own, and ask yourself if it <i>sparks joy</i>.” </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">If that is good advice for decluttering my physical space, how much <i>more </i>should that be the deciding factor in my mental space as well! To “take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5), and ask myself if this is a thought that sparks joy. Those regrets and hurts and fears and anxieties and doubts that constantly crowd my mind . . . obviously, they don’t spark joy. I need to discard them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">The shelves are full of decluttering books with helpful advice for organizing our physical spaces. But there is an even better Book, one with vital, life-changing advice for organizing our mental spaces . . . <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">) Left to my own devices, my mind will, over time, gravitate towards entropy. Towards chaos and decline. If I ever want to be transformed, it starts in my mind. It starts by letting go of fear, and making room for peace. </span><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (1 Timothy 1:7)</span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> And this clear command, accompanied by a beautiful promise, my favorite promise in all of Scripture: </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">Do not be </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">anxious about anything . . .and the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds. (Philippians 4:6).</span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">When I intentionally set my mind, when I purpose in my heart to let go of the fear and the anxieties – which are clearly not from God - what is left? A sound mind. Calm. Order. Peace. The opposite of disorder and chaos. How is that for a de-cluttering goal for the mind?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">The entropy, the decline into disordered negative thinking, did not happen overnight, which means that it won’t be tackled overnight either. This kind of mental de-cluttering project cannot be completed in a day. Or even a week. It will take time. There may be seasons when it gets overwhelming, the task before me much too big. But little by little, bit by bit, I will rejoice in the moments of progress. I will focus, unwavering and resolute on my goal of peace and order and, dare I say, <i>joy </i>in my mental spaces.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14pt;">The clutter has got to go! No more chaos and unnecessary debris weighing me down. It’s time for a change! It’s time to find joy!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial";">Whatever is TRUE, whatever is HONORABLE,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial";"> whatever is FAIR, whatever is PURE, whatever is ACCEPTABLE, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial";">whatever is COMMENDABLE, if there is anything of EXCELLENCE <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial";">and if there is anything PRAISEWORTHY - <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial";">Keep thinking about these things . . . <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial";">Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-39151460713373510292018-09-18T10:51:00.001-04:002018-09-18T13:35:29.296-04:00The Promise<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Once upon a time, many, many Sundays ago, I walked into the sanctuary just a few minutes before the service started, and sat down next to some friends of mine. They started joking, <i>No, no, this will never work. We need to sit boy-girl-boy-girl.</i> You know, because that’s how mature we all were in our 20’s. After a little bit of shuffling and rearranging, I ended up sitting next to the very guy that my friend had been wanting me to meet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">All summer and autumn, my friend had been telling me, <i>You need to meet my fiancé’s roommate. I think you would really like him!</i> My answer back to her was always the same: <i>I don’t want you to introduce us or set us up or plan a blind date. If God wants me to meet him, we will meet.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And unbeknownst to me, my friend’s fiancé had been telling his roommate for months and months: <i>You need to meet my fiancée’s friend. I think you would really like her!</i> His roommate’s answer was always the same: <i>I don’t want you to introduce us or set us up or plan a blind date. If God wants me to meet her, we will meet.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Well, there we were that Sunday in November, sitting right next to each other in church. Apparently, God <i>did </i>want us to meet!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">He turned to me and introduced himself, shaking my hand, and then said probably the most original “pick-up line” that has ever been spoken: <i>So, I hear you want to be a missionary!</i> Yes, as a matter of fact, I did want to be a missionary. He had heard correctly! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">That was my heart’s desire . . . to spend my life doing something amazing for God. To tell others about Jesus. To love and serve and give all of myself, no matter what, no matter where. And the thought of finding someone else who had the same passion in his heart? My friend and her fiancé were right . . . this guy and I <i>would </i>really like each other!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And the rest, as they say, is history. Only seven months later, on a warm day in the middle of June, I walked down the aisle, and that guy became my husband. We promised to love each other in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, until death parted us. We were excited to see what the future held for us. We were excited to see where God was going to ask us to go!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And now, 25 years later, we are sitting side by side in a different church in a different city on the other side of the country. As the service comes to an end, we watch as new believers walk forward to get baptized. It is a time of celebration! Friends cheering. Families weeping. All of us rejoicing in this, the most decisive moment of a person’s life. When they are dipped under the water and then come up again seconds later, it is such a beautiful picture of what has happened in their life! Just like me, and just like my husband, those who were once dead in their sins . . . here they are, standing here today, safe. Because of God’s great mercy, they have been made alive! (1)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Just before being immersed, the pastor, who is standing in the water with them, asks them two questions. The first one is <i>Do you believe that Jesus has done everything necessary to save you</i>. Yes, absolutely yes! It is only by grace that any of us are saved! (2)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The second question, one that I ponder long after the church service ends, is this: <i>Do you promise to go wherever He asks you to go?</i><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>My heart echoes the same answer as the people who are getting baptized today:<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Yes, absolutely, yes! <i> </i>It’s the same desire of my heart that I had all those years ago.<span style="font-style: normal;"><i></i></span>To serve and love and give all of myself, no matter what, no matter where.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The image that immediately comes to mind when I hear that question, <i>Do you promise to go wherever He asks you to go? </i>may be the image of a special God-sized calling. A task that is daring and adventurous, and maybe even a little bit dangerous. Maybe He will ask me to go to a Third World country and rescue destitute children off the streets. Or maybe He will provide the opportunity for me to dig wells in a remote village in Africa. Or maybe He will equip me to translate God’s Word into a tribal language where they have never before heard the name of Jesus. What an amazing assignment that would be! What an honor to do something so significant! To make such an impact in the world! I think, <i>Yes! Sign me up! I’m ready! I promise to go wherever God asks me to go!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I am by nature a do-er. I want to serve and help. I want to be busy. Give me a task, and I’m on it . . . lists and deadlines, budgets and checkmarks. Give me a special-needs baby, and I’m in my zone . . . schedules and medical attention, specialists and tender loving care. I want to <i>do </i>something. I want to make a difference in the world. I want to impact history. I want to have a front-row seat to the miraculous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">He may indeed ask some people to go to the ends of the earth. He may assign some people amazing, God-sized tasks. He asked Moses to lead an entire nation out of slavery in Egypt. He asked Nate Saint and Jim Elliot to go to a tribe in the jungles of Ecuador, to reach people who needed to hear about the love of Jesus. He asked a local family I know to go to Asia and <i>literally </i>rescue destitute children off the streets. (www.mercyhouseph.org) These, and many more throughout history and even today, have faithfully and obediently gone where He asked them to go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But here is an equally challenging question . . . what if He <i>doesn’t </i>ask me to go anywhere? What if He never calls me to do something daring and adventurous? What if His plan for me does not involve anything significant or world-changing? What then?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">For my husband and me, our 25 years together (so far!) hasn’t exactly turned out as we thought it would. We are still holding fast to our promise to love each other until death parts us. That has not changed. However, besides a few short-term service trips a couple of summers ago, when we had an opportunity to serve together in a foreign country, we never did become the missionaries that we thought we would become. God never did ask us to leave it all behind and move to the other side of the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Instead, we have spent 23 of our years together providing love and care and safety to the most broken and the most vulnerable children right here in our own community. We didn’t go to the mission field after all. The mission field came to us!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">I hear the question, <i>Do you promise to go wherever He asks you to go? </i>And that implies that I have a choice. What if He is not asking me to go to a different location? Or to a specific God-sized task? What if He is asking me to go somewhere else entirely? To a place that, given the option, I never would have chosen to go? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Maybe He is asking me to follow Him into a place of brokenness and isolation and grief. A dark and invisible place where no one sees. Maybe to a place of rocking a baby who will never remember me. Or to a place of loving a child who will never love me back. Maybe He is asking me to go to a place of watching a child struggle with a chronic illness, always wondering if the next hospitalization could mean the end of his life. Or to a place of silently, patiently waiting for the return of a prodigal son who has chosen a path of self-destruction. To a place where my prayers, the deepest longings of my heart, remain unanswered. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Or maybe He is asking me to go to a place of choosing, today, to simply love and serve and give all of myself, not to a stranger on the other side of the world, but to the one in front of me. And then tomorrow, choosing to do it again. Maybe He is asking me to go to a place where I will <i>never </i>see the miracle. Where I will <i>never </i>become a part of the amazing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Perhaps He is asking me to go, not to a different location or to a specific task. Perhaps He is asking me to go to a place of faith. To a place where He is asking me to simply believe. To a place where all I can do is wait. Will I follow Him there? Do I <i>still </i>promise to go wherever He asks me to go?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Here’s the thing about promises . . . I can promise to love my husband in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, until death parts us. And I can promise to go wherever He asks me to go, even to a place of obscurity and solitude. But those are human promises. Those are promises made from a heart that might fail. From a faith that might waver. (3)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">But, God’s promises? They will never fail. They will never waver. Never!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Jesus did not say, <i>Promise Me you will go. </i> He said, <i>Go . . . and I am with you always.</i>(4) He may ask me to go to a strategic location with a specific world-changing assignment. How wonderful that would be!! Or He may, instead, ask me to go to a desert place, to a place that, if I had my preference, I never would have chosen to go. Either way, I will go. And I know that I will go, not because of anything special within me. Not because of my fierce determination or perfect loyalty. I can go anywhere He asks me to go <u>only </u>because I know that He promises to go with me! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">If He asks me to go somewhere daring and adventurous, dangerous even, He promises to go there with me. If He gives me an amazing assignment that could impact the world, He promises to go there with me. And yes, if He asks me to go to a place of darkness and brokenness and anonymity right where I am, to a place where the only thing I can do is pray and believe and wait . . . even then He promises to go there with me. <i>I am with you always!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When I am alone in the desert place, the place where no one else sees, do I still believe that He is with me always? That He is near to me when I call? (5)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When nothing makes sense, and everything seems to be crumbling around me, and the future seems terrifying, do I still believe that His plans for me are good? (6)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When He seems to be silent, when the waiting turns into months and then years, maybe even a lifetime . . . do I still believe that He is working all things together for His purposes? (7)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When the situation is utterly hopeless, and I am tempted to despair, to give in to the overwhelming grief, do I still believe that Jesus is able to make the impossible . . . possible? (8)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Go . . . and I am with you always.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The question is so much more than, <i>Do I promise?</i> It is not about <i>my </i>promises at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The more important question is, <i>Do I believe HIS promise? <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0in 0in 6pt 0.5in; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: -0.25in; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i><!--[endif]--><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">“But <sup></sup>God, being</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">rich in mercy,</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">because of the great love with which He loved us,</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">even</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">when we were dead in our trespasses,</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)</span></i></span><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="color: black; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0in 0in 6pt 0.5in; text-decoration: none; text-indent: -0.25in; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-style: normal;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i></span><!--[endif]--><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">“For</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">by grace you have been saved</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">through faith. And this is</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">not your own doing;</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">it is the gift of God,</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">not a result of works,</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)</span></i></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0in 0in 6pt 0.5in; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: -0.25in; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i></span><!--[endif]--><span class="text"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:25)</span></i></span><span class="text"><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“</span></i><b style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue";">Go </span></i></b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue";"><span style="font-size: small;">therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></span></i><i style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica neue";">the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"> </span>teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, <b>I am with you always</b>, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 8:19-20)</span></i><i style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“The Lord is near to all who call on Him.” (Psalm 145:18)</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.” (Psalm 138:8)</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i><!--[endif]--><i><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” (Job 42:2). </span></i></div>
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<i style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">8. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">“</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica";">When Jesus entered the house, the blind men came to him, and Jesus said to them, </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Do</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">you</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">believe</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica";">that I am able to<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">do</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica";">this? They said to him, Yes, Lord." (</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Matthew 9:28)</span></span></i></div>
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Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-89008868495185823622018-06-05T22:06:00.000-04:002019-01-02T09:44:39.103-05:00When You're Drowning<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DvfE7txXWcQ/WxdBP2o6rAI/AAAAAAAABBM/V3i_ylKJapAG-MTfL8nWHMKOMFXnxX4zQCLcBGAs/s1600/d9d2d7f6656804807140323ea2725efa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="593" data-original-width="593" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DvfE7txXWcQ/WxdBP2o6rAI/AAAAAAAABBM/V3i_ylKJapAG-MTfL8nWHMKOMFXnxX4zQCLcBGAs/s320/d9d2d7f6656804807140323ea2725efa.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The enormous waves are crashing all around, first one, then the next, getting
higher by the minute. You feel yourself
sinking fast, and panic fills your pores.
The howling wind pretty much drowns out your desperate cries. <i>Help!
Please, please help! Save me!!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">You had started out so brave. Your
faith had once been so strong. What
happened? How did you end up here,
drowning in this violent storm?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">You have been following Jesus for a while now, and sure, you have
experienced your share of hardships, but getting to know Jesus personally,
learning from Him and walking side by side with Him. You wouldn’t trade that for all the fish in
the sea! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">During these past few years, you have seen first-hand the amazing,
miraculous things that He can do. The
broken have been healed. Hunger has been
satisfied. Prisoners have been set free. You know, you just <i>know</i> that He is who He says He is! You vow in your heart that whatever He asks you to do, wherever He asks you to go, you will say yes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">So when He calls you to <i>Come</i>,
to step into the unknown, to walk by faith in a way that you never have before,
you are thrilled! This is the moment you
have been waiting for! The moment when
you yourself get the great privilege of seeing your life go from ordinary to
extraordinary, Of being a part of the
miraculous!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">With almost the first step, however, you realize that the waves are much
higher than you thought they would be.
The wind much fiercer and stronger, knocking you off balance. Causing you to sink. This thing that Jesus has called you to
do? This brave step that He asked you to
take? This is not just inconvenient or
uncomfortable or difficult . . . it is terrifying! It is literally, humanly impossible! What you thought was going to be an exciting adventure
has turned out to be, instead, a horrible nightmare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">In your struggle to survive, to keep your head above the water, you glance
hopefully back to where you had come from.
You see the others who were with you when you took that huge step into
the unknown. What are they thinking now,
those people who are watching you sink, fighting for your life? Surely they are laughing at your
foolishness. Surely they are shaking
their heads, in pity or in scorn, thinking that if only you had played it safe
like them, this kind of thing never would have happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Your head is going under, and if even one more wave crashes down on you, you know, with absolute certainty, that you simply aren't going to make it. Why, oh why did you think this was a good idea? In helplessness, in utter desperation, you
cry out to the only One who might be able to rescue you. <i>Help! Please, please help! Save me!!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Jesus hears you when you call. And
He reaches out His hand and takes hold of you.
He is right there, right in the middle of the waves, right there next to
you. And He rescues you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">As you cling onto Him for dear life, gasping for your next breath, He does
not ask, <i>Why did you go that way?</i> Or <i>Why
did you leave the safe to step into the dangerous?</i> Or <i>Why
did you fail to count the cost before trying something so risky?</i> He does not ask, <i>Why are you so inadequate for this impossible path I called you to?</i> No, he looks at you, His beloved follower and
asks tenderly, <i>Why did you doubt?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">The waves that come crashing down over your head? The storm that is raging all around you? The strong wind that throws you off balance
and causes you to sink fast? None of
those are your biggest enemy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">No, your biggest enemy, when the waves are crashing and you find yourself
drowning, is doubt. That is the one
question that Jesus asks: <i>Why did you doubt?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Did He not guide you this way?
Did you not hear Him calling out to you to <i>Come</i>? Did you not step out
in faith, courageously leaving the safe to walk into the exciting? Did you not believe that He could choose you
to be a part of the miraculous?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Don’t look at the waves. Look to
Jesus. Don’t listen to the howling wind. Listen for His voice. Believe that the One who called you to take
this step into the water is the same One who can rescue you from it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">When the storm rages, it doesn’t mean that Jesus suddenly forgot how to
perform miracles. You have seen, first-hand,
the amazing things that He can do. Believe
that He can do those amazing things in your life too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">And the others who were once with you when you took that huge step into the
unknown? The ones who were watching you
sink, fighting for your life? They stand
amazed! Not at your extraordinary
courage. Not at your miraculous ability
to walk on water. No, they stand amazed
at what Jesus can do! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Why did you doubt?</span></i><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">
Keep trusting. When Jesus calls
you to <i>Come</i>, keep following him, even
if it means leaving the safe and stepping out into the unknown. Keep looking to Jesus, the author and
perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2). Keep
believing that the One who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it. (1
Thess. 5:24)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Keep believing that even in the middle of the storm, when your head is
barely above water and you are sinking fast, He can rescue you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">Keep believing in the miraculous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14pt;">- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Matthew 14:25-33<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica";">And in the fourth watch of the night [Jesus] came to them,
walking on the sea. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">But when the disciples saw him
walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and
they cried out in fear. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">But immediately Jesus spoke to them,
saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica";">And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to
you on the water.”</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">He said, “Come.” So Peter
got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">But when he
saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord,
save me.” </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">Jesus immediately reached out his
hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did
you doubt?” </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">And when they got into the boat, the
wind ceased. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";">And those in the boat worshiped
him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-76369952397401032982018-05-27T13:26:00.000-04:002018-05-27T13:39:15.411-04:00What Pure Means<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-76pXAkC3e5k/WwrprijTUkI/AAAAAAAABA0/84vwl32P2gEIxPhJoVjuEqpaPMkIEEMMwCLcBGAs/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="852" height="225" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-76pXAkC3e5k/WwrprijTUkI/AAAAAAAABA0/84vwl32P2gEIxPhJoVjuEqpaPMkIEEMMwCLcBGAs/s400/1.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">The kids had just
finished up their lunch, and if I was smart, I would have kept to our regular
schedule and settled them into their beds for an afternoon nap.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: large;">But the gorgeous weather outside was calling
to me, tempting me to enjoy the sunshine on my face, even if only for a few
minutes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">After quickly tying my
hair into a ponytail, I unfolded the double stroller and buckled the two little
ones into it, and helped the older ones fasten their bike helmets into
place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sun and fresh air that day felt
just as glorious as I had hoped it would!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">We hadn’t even reached
the end of the block, however, before the delightful moment ended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The baby started crying, and when I stopped
to pick him up, he vomited all over me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Meanwhile, the ones on their bikes were getting a little bit too far
ahead for comfort, and I yelled out a reminder to them to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Stop at the corner!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">My fashionable neighbor
arrived home at that exact moment, and I’m sorry to say that inwardly I cringed
a little bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She climbed out of her
Cheerios-free car and walked towards me, her heels click-clacking on the
sidewalk, a dazzling smile on her face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I felt instantly ugly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">While I struggled to clean
up and comfort the baby, and look frantically down the street towards the
diminishing figures of my children on their bikes, she stood right next to me
trying to engage in conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In her
hand was a leather Bible and a cute little flowered notebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">Apparently, she had
just arrived home from a weekly ladies’ Bible study.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The one that she led.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the church where her husband was a
pastor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I felt instantly ugly <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> inferior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am certain
that as she was standing there looking at me, she was thinking to herself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This lady needs Jesus!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">Because the children who
are always with me have varying sizes, shapes, and skin tones, I am pretty much
a walking advertisement for orphan care. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I confirmed that yes, these little ones
with me were indeed my foster children, she blurted, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh, that’s wonderful that you do that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My husband and I have talked about getting involved in foster care, but
we wouldn’t want to give up our date nights.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">Um, I’m not a Bible
scholar, and I honestly cannot remember the last time I attended a ladies’
Bible study, but I’m pretty sure that the leather Bible my neighbor was
carrying in her hand that day doesn’t say too much about date nights, while it
has a whole lot to say about taking care of orphans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">In fact, one of the most frequently
quoted verses about caring for orphans is James 1:27, which says, “</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">Pure and
undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans
and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained by the
world.”</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">I’ve always wondered about this
verse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like the first part of
the verse – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">visiting orphans and widows
in their affliction</i> – doesn’t really have anything to do with the second
part of the verse – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">keeping oneself
unstained from the world</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">But then, at closer look, there
is a pretty clear contrast:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">Pure religion.
. . stained by the world.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">Undefiled
. . . defiled.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">It seems like a paradox,
really.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, caring for orphans can
get, quite literally, very messy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
means strewn toys and dirty socks and stinky shoes and stray LEGO pieces and
pencil shavings and yes, spilled Cheerios.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">Even more so, caring for orphans
means caring for someone <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">else’s</i>
child, picking the lice out of their hair, cleaning them up after they’ve been
sick, clipping their dirty toenails, bandaging their bloody wounds, wiping
their runny noses. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All without knowing
exactly what those bodily fluids have been exposed to. <sup>1</sup><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">For those who care for medically fragile children, it might mean suctioning secretions from a trach or cleaning up stomach juices when a feeding tube accidentally gets pulled out. It might mean emptying a colostomy bag. I will never forget the moment
when I was rocking a baby who had a shunt in her brain, when suddenly I felt
something warm and sticky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could see
that the shunt was leaking, but I could barely comprehend that someone else’s cerebral
fluid was actually dripping on my arm!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
thought for a moment that I was going to pass out.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">And oh, the dirty laundry! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter how many loads are washed each day,
the mountains of clothes never seem to shrink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes I think that if I have to pick up yet another wet towel that
was left crumbled on the floor, I just might scream.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And always, always, there are sheets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is rarely a day (and many nights too!) that
goes by that I am not washing wet or soiled sheets. <sup>2</sup><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">This?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dirty and the stained and the genuinely disgusting?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is what the Bible calls <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pure</i>?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">This is not what any of us
want!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all want homes that are neat
and tidy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want our lives and our
calendars to be predictable and comfortable and convenient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We want to have clean cars and carry cute
flowered notebooks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes, we want to
have date nights!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is nothing wrong
with any of those things!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">But when neat and tidy becomes
our goal?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When keeping our distance from
the messy becomes our excuse to not get involved?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our attempts to keep our hands clean just
might show that our hearts are stained by the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Impure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Defiled.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">In our Western culture, we have
social services. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have structures in
place that protect vulnerable children by placing them in safe and loving foster
homes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, having our most weak and
defenseless children in foster homes also means that they are safely tucked
away where we don’t need to see them or think about them very much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t need to touch them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s easy to get comfortable in
our little suburban neighborhoods and forget that there is an entire world of
hurting children who need love and physical care and nurturing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Children who need the permanency of a family.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If my neighbor was walking, not across
her manicured lawn, but down a trash-strewn alleyway in Haiti, and if she saw a
hungry child looking at her, pleading with his big dark eyes, would she honestly
say to him, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But what about my date
nights?</i> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Probably not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her comment that day, while innocent enough,
shows a heart that has been stained by the world.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">What if we saw caring for
orphans the way that God sees it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because James 1:27 specifically says, this is what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pure</i> means in the sight of God . . .<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">Pure</span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> means stepping
into the messy, welcoming the ones who are unwashed and stinky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or as James 1:27 says, the “afflicted.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pure</i>
means, quite literally, touching the dirty and the wounded and maybe even the
contagious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">Pure</span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> means
having a house that is never completely cleaned, the never-ending loads of
laundry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means washing soiled sheets
in the middle of the night.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";">Pure</span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"> means sometimes
being frazzled, wearing a stained shirt, quickly tying hair back into a
ponytail, yelling to the kids down the sidewalk to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Stop at the corner!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">My neighbor was absolutely
right about one thing . . . I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i> need
Jesus!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every hour I need Him, not only
for His strength and wisdom and perseverance in the midst of the chaos, but
more importantly, I need Him to remind me of what is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need Him to remind me that in the mundane,
there is purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It matters. </span>When I feel ugly and
inferior, I need Him to remind me that what I am doing is lovely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My proverbial hands, messy though they may
be, are busy with the important and the eternal.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">This chaos?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These kids?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The messes that I am continually cleaning up?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;">This</span></span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-size: large;"> is pure.</span><span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Looking
for a gift for a new foster parent?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
would recommend lots of band-aids, disinfectant wipes, boxes of medical gloves
and a good quality carpet cleaner!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .75in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: black; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Foster
parents do hundreds of loads of laundry over the course of the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2011/03/duggar-recipe-liquid-laundry-soap.html">Making</a>
laundry soap is far less expensive than buying it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3535146458636744712.post-40900985800032539912018-05-19T12:00:00.001-04:002018-05-19T15:36:05.357-04:00What They Hear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gLiPJiwftjs/WwBIahqIO2I/AAAAAAAABAc/bMgUDEnp8qgkX8YF9PY3ALGKD_wJbag2gCLcBGAs/s1600/Listen-500x399.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="399" data-original-width="500" height="256" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gLiPJiwftjs/WwBIahqIO2I/AAAAAAAABAc/bMgUDEnp8qgkX8YF9PY3ALGKD_wJbag2gCLcBGAs/s320/Listen-500x399.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Our son
was about 2 years old at the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
was just finishing up with his bedtime snack, when a “grown up” movie started
on the television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wanting to protect
his young eyes and ears, I said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hey
Buddy, let’s go in the other room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
is a Papa movie, and it might be a little bit scary.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His eyes got big as he looked up at me and
asked, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Do you mean it has spiders in it?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Spiders?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was the scariest thing he could imagine!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved the innocence of it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And really, isn’t that what parents want to
do – to preserve their children’s sweet innocence as long as they can?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To protect them from the harsh realities of
life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world can be full of danger
and disappointments and brokenness, but do they really need to know about all
of that just yet?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When we
welcome foster kids into our home, we are doing the exact opposite of
protecting our own children’s innocence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">exposing</i> them, from a
very young age, and most likely before they are mature enough to process it all,
to the grim facts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To the darkest, most
awful, most shocking ways that people live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are showing them, firsthand, how people hurt one another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How poor choices can lead to such devastating
consequences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How families can fracture
and leave broken children in their wake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Before our
children are old enough to understand the meanings, they hear ugly words like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">domestic violence</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">restraining order</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">addictions</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mental illness</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can a child who has only known a loving,
stable, safe home possibly understand what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">child
abuse</i> means?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Parents hurt their children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On purpose?!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">One
time, when we brought a tiny day-old infant home from the hospital, our young daughters
were thrilled!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They took turns feeding
her and rocking her and bundling her up in one of the softest pink blankets
ever made.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Their
whole world was turned upside down, however, when they found out that this
precious baby’s birthmother was just a teenager.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s not married?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can she have a baby?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where is the daddy?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not a conversation that I was prepared
to have with them at such a young age, but here we were, facing it head-on with
a real-life baby and a real-life young lady they had personally met and
interacted with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And during that bumbling
conversation that day, part of their innocence was forever taken away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When we
welcome foster kids into our home, our children hear about grown-up problems
that kids shouldn’t have to know about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
hear about dysfunctional family relationships that make no sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear about complicated situations that
are difficult to explain to young ears. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
will most certainly hear about where babies come from!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
sometimes, unfortunately, they hear colorful words and ideas and expressions
from the foster kids themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
general rule of thumb is that it is wise to foster (and adopt) kids who are
younger than the ones already at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With the idea, of course, that the older, more well-adjusted and
well-behaved ones will have a positive influence on the younger ones joining
the family, instead of the other way around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Of
course it doesn’t always work that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
four-year old foster can teach a nine-year old bio some pretty shocking expletives!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And anyway, no one ever told God about the
general rule of thumb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes He calls
a family to foster (or adopt) out of birth order and against all human
logic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So yes, our young children, who
love to go to church on Sunday mornings, just might hear an older foster
sibling declare sullenly, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I don’t believe
in God and all that sh--.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And in
the middle of a heated argument, when all the trauma of past abuse, along with
all the pain of never being wanted, boils to the surface, a foster teen just
might run screaming through the house in a fit of rage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sweet young children hear that teen call me, their beloved mother, a f---ing b---, obscene words they will never be able to un-hear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one will ever be able to wash their ears
clean and magically restore the naiveté of their childhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">How can
we justify it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can we knowingly
expose our dear children to the dark and violent and broken and shocking and
profane?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does a preschooler really need
to hearing words like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rehab</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">homeless</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">incarcerated</i>? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shouldn’t we be
protecting their innocence?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shouldn’t we
go back to the time when spiders were the scariest thing they could possibly imagine?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Here’s
the thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we welcome foster
kids into our homes, our own children <i>do</i> hear the ugly, it’s true. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we are also exposing them, from a very
young age, and most likely before they are mature enough to process it all, to the
beautiful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">They
hear their parents saying yes to a calling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stepping into a world where not many people are willing to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are showing them, firsthand, how what courage and compassion and perseverance look like. We are showing them how to love
the most unlovable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How investing our
time and energy and resources into a broken life, how sharing our family with the
most fragile and vulnerable can lead to healing and wholeness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are showing them how families can serve
together and love one another through the hardest,
most difficult seasons. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">They
hear – many, many times! - what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Family</i>
means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s talking with a foster
child who has never had a father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe
it’s talking with a foster teen who has only known abandonment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our children are right there in the living
room or at the dinner table or in the back seat of the car during these
conversations. They hear that God’s plan is for husbands and wives to commit to
each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That parents should take
care of their children and that children should respect their parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear that families communicate,
expressing their needs and frustrations, thoughts and dreams, hopes, fears, and
feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Even
when tempers flare and patience runs thin and misunderstandings happen, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Family</i> means working through conflicts and
solving problems together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means forgiving
and moving forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Family</i> is where we learn how to develop healthy relationships – a skill
that can be used for the rest of our lives!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Our
children hear that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Family</i> is more
than who we share our DNA with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Family</i> is who we share our home with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Quite
often our children hear us praying, begging God for wisdom and strength when it
all seems impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we do not
feel like we are adequately equipped to reach these children who have so many
complicated needs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A few
days ago, we were in the car with the radio up and the windows down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was way too much over-stimulation for our young daughter
with sensory issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She covered her
ears and said right out loud, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, please
help me!</i> She is already learning, by what she has heard from us many times
before, how to cry out to God in times of need!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Before our
children are old enough to understand the meanings, they hear beautiful words
like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thriving </i>and<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> milestones</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even a child
who has only known a loving, stable, safe home can understand what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">grace</i> means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">forgiveness</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Our
children may not understand grown-up problems and complicated situations, but they
do hear words like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">reunification</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">restoration</i>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear us praying for birthparents, asking
God to reach their hearts and to transform their lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And sometimes they see, firsthand, how God
answers those prayers and mends broken families. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear the stories of the miracles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When we
welcome foster kids into our home, our children hear. They hear the dark
and ugly, maybe even the profane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But more
importantly, they hear the beautiful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">They
hear their parents saying yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear
hope and healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear grace and
forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear what <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Family</i> means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear our deepest, most earnest prayers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hear stories of the miraculous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Most of
all, through the heartaches and the joy, through the broken and the healing, through
our failures and victories, this is what I fervently hope they hear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Above
all, I hope they hear love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
Psalm 113:9 Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07021787353168586338noreply@blogger.com0