After waiting for a few minutes in the waiting room, we hear our name being called and follow the click-clack of the woman’s heels down the hall towards her office. She motions for us to take a seat on the other side of her desk, offering us coffee. Commenting on the weather. Asking if we were able to find a spot in the parking deck across the street without too much trouble. She is obviously trying to be polite and make us feel comfortable, but I am impatient and ready to get down to business. We are here for answers, not small talk.
Finally, she sits behind her desk and hands us a thick stack of papers, neatly bound together with a large binder clip. It my first hint that this meeting is not going to be quick. Or that the news inside these documents is not going to be good. I had been secretly hoping that she would give us a single sheet of paper, one that said something simple like, Your child’s test scores all came back in the “normal” range, and you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Have a nice day! But of course my secret hopes were entirely unrealistic. We wouldn’t have requested these evaluations in the first place unless we had suspected that something was seriously wrong. The thick stack of papers is a professional’s report, confirming and articulating in technical terminology what we already know to be true.
She starts talking about the report, explaining some of the details and diagnoses. You know how, when Charlie Brown’s teacher talks, all you can hear is Wah wah, wah wah, wah wah wah instead of the actual words? That is exactly what this feel like. I can hear this woman’s voice, and I know she is saying actual words, but I am unable to understand any of it through the fog of shock. How can these words be describing our child?
Seeing our child’s weaknesses and struggles right here in black and white, complete with specific codes from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), is sobering and heart-breaking. What parents want to read a document that officially declares that their child is deficient? What parents want to admit that their child is fundamentally flawed? Abnormal? Broken?
