He is the One

“Hellooooooo?”  I raced through the door and called out to my roommate, so anxious to share my news that I could barely contain my excitement.  I had just experienced the most magical night of my entire life, and I could not wait to tell her about it.  Sure, it had only been six weeks since this wonderful man had come into my life, but time and logic are irrelevant when you are in love.  When he had asked me to marry him earlier that night, I did not hesitate before answering.  I knew, I just knew that he was the man of my dreams.  He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  I threw myself across my roommate’s bed and declared dramatically, “He is the one!”

At our wedding reception a few months later, when the best man gave his speech, he looked me straight in the eye and half-jokingly warned, “I hope you are ready for an adventure.”  He had no way of knowing, of course, could never have predicted what an adventure it would turn out to be!  And through it all, through the times when my heart felt like it would explode with joy, and through the times when my whole world was rocked to its core and I did not know how life could possibly continue, he is the one who has been with me every step of the way.

It's All About the Grace

Like a child having a tantrum, I slammed the front door on my way out of my house, the house that suddenly seemed two sizes too small.  I could not stand to be in there one more second.  The noise, the arguing, the clutter, the incessant demands that never allow me a moment of peace.  I knew when I became a foster mother that it would not be easy, but sometimes it just gets so overwhelming that I have to step outside and get away, even if only for a minute.

I stormed down the driveway towards the sidewalk of my little suburban neighborhood, tears streaming down my face, my thoughts raging, my silent prayers practically incoherent.  God, please do something!  I can’t do this any more!  You brought these children into my home, and I have trusted you to help me love them.  You have got to help me!

I hadn’t gone even ten steps, when I ran into my neighbor, who happened to be walking down the sidewalk at the same time.  Oh, great!  Is there nowhere that I can even cry in private?!  Of course on any other day, I would have been happy to see her.  I would have enjoyed a brief chat with her.  But not today.  I looked around in a panic, trying to find an escape route, but it was too late.  She had already spotted me.  She had already noticed my tears.