Somehow, a
single day can seem like a lifetime when a child is in the hospital. When one day of admission turns into several
days, and then into several weeks, it’s more like an eternity. What
day is it again? Time seems to stop
and the tears seem to never
stop. It is utterly exhausting, both
physically and emotionally.
After many
years of caring for medically-fragile children, children who spend thousands
upon thousands of hours in the hospital, you would think I would get used to it. Nope!
It never gets easier. There are
days – and usually interminable nights – when I cry into the darkness, I can’t do this! This is impossible!
Indeed, it is impossible, at least for one
person. There is no way I could continue
caring for these precious children with their complicated medical needs if I
had to do it alone. I depend on my
community, my “village,” those invaluable friends and neighbors and church
family who are ready and willing to step in and offer support when things invariably
get overwhelming and difficult.
During
these seasons of long hospitalizations, the most common offer I am likely to hear
is, If you need anything, please let me
know. I love the openness of
that! The generosity and kind-hearted
intent. The love that those words
communicate!
But honestly,
when I am focused on the child in front of me - on the medical complications
and the doctor’s prognosis and the long-term implications of this current
health concern – and when I am completely drowning trying to balance the time
at the hospital with the ongoing responsibilities at home, it becomes almost
impossible to articulate what I need. I
search my over-burdened brains for the right words to ask, and come up
empty. All I can think to cry is, Help me!
What I need
more than anything, what has encouraged me the most during these stressful days
and weeks in the hospital, is a specific offer of help. When someone is willing to take the initiative,
and give or serve or love from the abundance of their heart.
I am so
grateful and humbled to be the recipient of so much love! I can barely begin to count the ways that thoughtfulness
has inspired me to not give up on these frail children. Ways that generosity has encouraged me to
press on with this hard calling. Ways
that kindness has made the impossible . . . become possible.
