From her earliest memories,
she recognized that she was not quite like other people. Somehow she knew that childhood is supposed to
be full of laughter and wonder and joy, yet she experienced none of those
things. Mostly she felt lonely, but
where was the instruction booklet on how to make friends? Her mother’s tone of voice just then . . .
was she being honest or sarcastic? That
expression on her classmate’s face . . . what did that mean? While other girls her age were experimenting
with make-up and giggling about cute boys, she found herself getting lost in an
intriguing sci-fi book or sketching elaborate animals that had human-like
faces. Her inability to connect with
people left her feeling isolated, but she never could quite figure out what to
do about it. Eventually she just
accepted the fact that the dark cloud hanging over her life was there to stay.
As a young woman, the thought
of bringing a newborn baby into this sad, confusing world was unthinkable. However, because of her strong belief that
God created the life that was growing inside her, placing her child for
adoption with a stable, loving family was her only option. The only way she could think of to give her
child an opportunity to live a normal life.
It was entirely possible, of course, that the child would inherit her
unique characteristics, her Nature if you will, but she sincerely hoped and
prayed that the right Nurture in the right environment would be stronger than
the genes that were being passed along to her offspring. That love would be enough.
Through nine long months she
persevered in her commitment to offer her child a better life than the one she
had experienced. Battling her doubts and
fears, trying to comprehend the deep loss she knew she would feel, and turning
a deaf ear to her mother’s plea to keep the baby, she remained resolved. And when that day finally came when the new
life entered the world, she wrapped him carefully in a tiny blue blanket, and with
a mixture of grief, relief, and hope, placed him gently into my waiting arms.
