Losing Her Mother

We are enjoying ourselves, my young daughter and me, soaking in the sunshine, breathing in the fresh air, and savoring this rare opportunity for just the two of us to be together.  I turn my back for just a second to grab something just out of reach, and when I turn around again, she is not there.  I turn every way, thinking surely she is just a few steps away, but I do not see her anywhere.  I start calling her name, not caring if other people are staring, and try not to panic.

After a few unsuccessful moments of being unable to find her, I locate a security guard to help me.  I describe her as best as I can:  4-years old, long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, pink sparkly dress (did it have a unicorn or a rainbow on it? I suddenly can’t remember!), flip-flops on her little feet.  He goes one way, speaking into his walkie-talkie with his colleagues, and I go the other way, calling her name, more loudly now, looking frantically in every space, around every corner, under every surface.

Ten fear-filled minutes later, I finally spot her, huddled into a heap, sobbing into her arms, crying Mommy!  I want my Mommy!  over and over again.  This young child has just endured, for ten fear-filled minutes, her worst nightmare: losing her mother.  I run to her and scoop her into my arms, where she continues weeping into my shoulder, her tears staining my shirt.  It takes a long time to console her, to assure her, Mommy’s here now.  I love you so much!  You are safe!

Such a Joy!

A picture, so they say, is worth a thousand words.  But every once in a while a picture needs a thousand words to explain it!

A few days ago I posted a picture on social media, a photo my daughter snapped of me feeding a baby with two other children climbing on my lap and another little guy getting ready to give me a hug.  The caption reads, Such a joy!  And it is 100% true!  In that one moment, there is nothing else I would rather be doing and nowhere else I would rather be!  My days as a foster parent are often full of smiles and kisses and snuggles.  It truly is the #bestjobever!

What the picture does not show, however, and what the caption does not fully describe, are the people in the picture.  The real-life people with real-life struggles, doing the best we can to love one another.  Individuals, sometimes even strangers, whose lives are being intertwined to create this thing we call family.

Love Works

I’m seven, he offers, before the question is even asked. He looks the receptionist right in the eye and instantly attracts her full attention.

His personality can only be described as BIG!  He walks into a church or a building or a doctor’s office or a store or a friend’s house or the neighborhood playground, and the atmosphere instantly becomes alive.  Children and adults alike can’t help but be drawn to his bright smile, his expansive nature, and his quick wit.  The word “shy” is simply not a part of his vocabulary. 

His charisma is partly a God-given gift, an instinctual interest in people and the ability to engage them.   And it is partly the result of his early childhood experiences, when he learned that “survival of the fittest” means being the most charming kid in the room in order to get the attention and care that he needs.  Regardless of how he acquired this congenial temperament, it is impossible not to adore him within minutes of meeting him.  Every person he meets, he believes, has the potential to become his next best friend.

Say Yes

Would you be willing to care for a teenager for a little while? 

If someone had asked me that question a few months ago, I would have said, No way!  The sweet, little innocent babies?  Of course!  The medically fragile ones or the ones with special needs?  I will consider it, depending on the season of our life and what is happening in our family.  The older ones?  Sorry, I’m just not comfortable with having a troubled teen in my home.

That would have been my response a few months ago.  This, however, is today.  You just never know when an ordinary day and a simple prayer can open your heart.  When a chance encounter will form an unlikely bond.  When God will give you the opportunity, and then the courage, to say yes.

Love Blooms

Preparing the Soil

Long before I met you, many years before you were born, the soil of my heart was being prepared to love you.   There was no specific, definable emotion, and there was no one upon whom to shower my affections.  But the Lord had so lavished His love upon me, that it sort of overflowed my heart.  It began as a general feeling of charity, an unsettling desire to share my heart, my home, and my blessings.

Externally, the preparations were quite practical, keeping my hands busy and my thoughts happily occupied.  I completed the training classes and the licensing process to become a foster parent, purchased a crib and car seat and stroller, stocked up on children’s clothes in various sizes.  I quit my full-time job In order to become a full-time mother.   All the while, I wondered whom the Lord would bring into my home.  Of all the children in all the world who needed a family, which one would join mine?

Unbeknownst to me, the garden of my life required a lot of hidden preparation as well, pruning and weeding and nurturing work that only the Lord could accomplish.  Ever so gently He removed the thorns of selfishness that would have prevented me from loving you whole-heartedly.  Slowly and patiently He enriched the soil of my heart with faith and wisdom, essential nutrients that He knew I would need in order to be your mother.