Through blurry eyes I pour coffee
into my extra-large mug, watching the brown liquid fill to the top, hoping
wearily that the caffeine it contains will do its job quickly this
morning. I did not sleep well last night
– again. My precious child sleeping in
the room down the hall kept coughing at irregular intervals; his weakened lungs
have been fighting germs for several weeks now, germs that refuse to give up
and go away. As much as I would love to
cuddle with him on the couch today, nursing him back to health, I simply do not
have the time for such luxuries.
My other little guy, my foster child,
has once again managed to fill my calendar today with appointments - appointments
which will require the majority of my energy and attention. I should tell myself to continue pressing on
and not give up, knowing that I am being obedient to what the Lord has asked me
to do. But still, it is difficult not to
get discouraged. It is impossible not to
be exhausted.
As I quickly check my e-mail inbox
before the busy day begins, one particular notification suddenly catches my
attention. It practically jumps off the
computer screen and into my lap: 75% off
an island getaway. On this cold January
day, under the cloud of sleep-deprivation, with the kitchen clock ticking
rapidly towards the incessant demands on my time today, a vacation in the sun sounds
absolutely heavenly!
I do feel a momentary twinge of
guilt that if I take this trip, it will mean that my husband will need to stay
with the children, holding down the fort here at home. However – true confessions here – we have
been taking separate vacations for years.
He takes a few weeks every fall to go hunting with a buddy in the
Northwest. I take a child or two with me
on various trips to visit extended family on the West Coast, or to see the
sights in some faraway city. We love to
travel . . . just not together.
It is not because we do not love
each other passionately. We do! It is not because we need to take a break
from each other. How I long to spend more time with him! The one reason we cannot enjoy vacationing
together, the one obstacle that keeps us apart is, sadly, a simple one: we do not know one person who is able to care
for our foster children while we are gone.
